Funny stories
In General I suggest to write here the story of the very stupid thing you did as a bunch,stoned,both(underline)So I remember when swells bought champagne and I thought that it would run quickly up the stairs into parade to run...well, you perdstavlyaet this picture, the crowd buhih runs up the stairs screaming and champagne over my head:)))) in General it should be seen:)
Well... I was walking in the garden ( In Florida lived a year ago) and suddenly I started to shout Aaaaaay you!!! Here come I was surprised because screaming at the Russian-Caucasian. So I run and he follow me. Goes screaming! Then the police who caused. So I was arrested because I ran away when accidentally hit the grandmother some. (A Caucasian with a knife) in General, I was given a 15 days... Here's a story....
It's not a funny story. According to the author this is the story about buhih, stoned idiots...
On the soap dude asked a question. Neighing while reading:
Good day, I changed the CPU on the 1150 socket, and accidentally dropped a hair in it, took it out with tweezers, but the legs bent, until the needle was aligned legs, one torn off, I decided to stick it with glue, and accidentally poured glue half of the socket, quickly decided to absorb the glue with a cotton swab but only hairs pricelist to the socket, and it was hairy socket, decided to set fire to, and burned clay, extinguished, could not stand, inserted the CPU, but the computer did not work, went to bed, today the processor is not removed, apparently the glue has dried, so what to do?
— Happy Birthday!
— Thanks and who are you?
Just tell them when and where's the booze!
very funny story for those who are in the subject
The anecdote about the first time stoned teenage boy.
Comes late at night and quietly so as not to burn goes to the kitchen.Hunger and the munchies strongest attacked him,checks the pan.Suddenly the lights go on,mother:hungry little Sonny?
Sonny and terrified voice,Who is stoned,I'm stoned?!
The taxi driver, after hearing my I'm late advised to tell the boss da mood@K some were taken and not delivered, an hour spent. A great country. Mental people. Like everything
— Hi, my name is Dmitry and I stole a Panda from the zoo. — We got the AA — And you think I did this sober?
Today, the crossword, the question Element plant cell confidently brought Vacuole. Already shed a tear, I spent 30 years waiting for the right time to use this information from school...
Salary is a drug. On the day of the salary payment unreasonably increases mood, like to joke and laugh (after the dose) — Getting paid once you can't get enough of it (addictive) — During a long absence of salaries, there comes a depression, the whole world is seen in black (You know) — If for some reason the dose of the salaries were above the norm, euphoria increases (When you overdose actually die of happiness) — With long-term consumption wage requires a regular increase in the dose (dose Old pretty soon rearranges paste)
I am ashamed to admit, but in my youth I gave a severe test to their neighbors, the benefit was a weekday, somewhere around 15:00 and therefore low geared people. Earlier in the lessons our teacher told that Pets bath is made of brittle cast iron, so there is a real danger of dropping into the bath and the hammer, split it completely. And it took me the repair to make a bathtub out of the apartment in the trash. Own to raise it stokilogrammovye enameled monster I was, of course, not, but to help me at that time was nobody because I just moved and the local did not know. Barely I brought this tub into a room, turned it upside down, put on goggles, picked up a hefty cleaver, specially brought for this purpose from the garden, and, swinging, hit this bell. To say that I'm deaf, not necessary: it seems to me, directed from this monstrous sound wave went deaf even the cockroaches in the basement, located four floors below. A bath, surprisingly, resisted, but my ears and psyche of the neigbour living a floor below — not very. She felt that I dropped the load-bearing walls. P@cereal, in short, our shop...
The correspondent spashival Director of the madhouse, which test is a criterion for discharge. — We pour a full bath of water, put next to a tea spoon and large mug, and offer to release water from the bath. The reporter smiles and says: — Well any normal person would take a mug. "No," said the Director — a normal person would pull the plug out.
Rode the train. Wildly "lucky" — got into a second-class compartment to three Dembele-dushnika. I thought — okay, schA drunk and rolled into the wall. Therefore, the entire road was laid down in his place on the top shelf. The guys don't pay attention to me and drink. And finally they have run out of power and they went to bed. I, too, was peacefully asleep. Woke me up a wild roar. Turns out one of the troops decided to go for and jumped like when you Wake-up. However, he did not consider that top shelf. He smacked his forehead on the shelf and 3 "went" to sleep. A minute later he jumped up again and again in vanasilla swung in the regiment. The defeat completed a quiet voice from below. — Nick, you're an oak. Imagine that you are in the BMD and bending desasterous.
Jewish community asks a wealthy merchant of coal to sacrifice her 6 wagons of coal. The merchant is responsible: — to Give the coal can not, but to sell for half price ready. The community agrees and orders the carriage 3. A month later, not having received the fee, the merchant sends a reminder. Community says: — ... And a reminder so we do not understand. You offered 6 cars for half the price that fits 3 cars free. These 3 car we got for the remaining 3 do not pretend.
In the far East was such a popular form of shop-tours to China — a free trip for a couple of days, and during this transportation in Russia 50 kg of cargo-stuff for entrepreneurs. But for myself — a couple of kilos of hand Luggage, well, that is put on the person. Why not just put on people — and a chandelier in the head, and sheets, curtains wrapped. But my favorite case where a woman was tied to the back of the Ironing Board! Fell at the customs, floundering, customs neigh: will be Able to stand up, miss! Rose)))
Boss said recently that they with boys in his youth loved to butt heads like sheep, and no one could perebdet. I put a premium on what you can. Boss we do not quite a fool, but too likes to argue. At dinner jackets are off, forehead to forehead began around a chalk circle around (who for a circle to intercede - lost). Watched the fight the whole floor! The battle was hard, but I won two rounds out of three, the prize is mine! And on the wall hung a picture of me with the caption Sheep of the month.