Jokes Mass Effect (Mass Effect 3)
At the bar, a conversation between a Turian:- Represent, I caught house wife with some krogan!
- What did you say to him?
- What could I say?! I'm in school kaganskiy not taught...
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A conversation between two asari of DeSantis:
Hey! What a cool armor for you!
- Represent, I have underneath no!
- Don't worry, grow up!
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From the report of agent Cerberus, meet Jack:
She sprayed in the face with tear gas canister. And now she's raping me, and she cries and cries...
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Sitting in a bar Krogan, Turanec and People started talking about their wives:
- My Serena said Turanec, slender, delicate,
with huge wet eyes and long arms.
And my cunning, sly, but quick and agile, one stroke of the thresher knocks.
- I'll tell you, ' muttered the man - my looks like a man.
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Prematurely ended a chess match between Grunta and Mordin. On the 20th minute of the game the victory was awarded
Grunt as Mordina was a broken arm.
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(Romantic note with Tali ME2 and ME3)
Tali confronts Shepard. In the heat of the fight, she cries out:
- Yes I am! Yes I am!... Yes I slept with your best friend, Garrus!
Shepard, taken aback:
- And I!... And I!... And I, too!!!
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Announcement at the entrance to the poor quarter quarter on Omega:
Do not pick up the crumbs - NOT BESITE Vorka!!!
PS: I tried to write funny jokes, if you liked thank you :-)
Please offer your anecdotes or jokes on the theme of the Mass Effect universe.
Shepard elcoro.
- You said you called live tanks. And what about tractors? And then Hoist it is necessary to plow the land!!!
- Elkor. Embarrassed. Hurt.
- Rare. Often. We will defend.
Shepard.
Yes the plow day! And katatsya not anymore!
Elkor. Happily. Delightful!
And the neighbors, too spasim.
Shepard is constantly confronted with a soldier on a residential deck which saluted, but did not speak to the captain.
- Probably just a concussion, thought Shepard.
- What a damn concussion, I thought an agent of Cerberus and prayed to the Ghost remembered about him!
Jack saw part of a shepherd in the Academy.
- Pupils close the ear. E..PI...soo...fucking...Open your ears.
Hey Shepard!
by the way I just noticed that Jack similar to Sasha grey. If someone does not know who it is, then the actress played in the film call-Girl and her rich filmography porn...........th content.
Shepard.
- God. Tali drunk Ashley is drunk, Canvas constantly drunk. Not a ship, LTP!!!( medical labor dispensaries).
Dr. Reaper
It really looks like him) by the Way, nobody noticed that Jack grew some hair since you left the Normandy? How many time has passed?
And this is Jack from ME2 DLC, or it is possible to meet her in the main line of the plot of ME3?
AVIC washed his hands.
And why am I in Mass Effect 2 was not included? Mass Effect 3 will not be!!!
( All jokes written on my behalf by me. I write sometimes short stories.)
Jack comes to the office of the Director Grissoms Academy. The Director asks her:
- Why your kids swear?
- For fuck's sake, who taught them that?!!!
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Once Garrus and Rex decided to bet one hands long, was longer than Shepard...
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Shepard took a report on the condition of the ship (by using speakerphone):
-Tali!
-Tali!!!
Malushenko!
-Tali Zora!
-Tali Zora you Normandy!
What'd you sleeping?!?!
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One krogan complains to another:
- Don't know what to do! I love Kira so want to meet her... But I've Croghan family, I have three families!
Suzie.
- Virus, virus!!!
Shepard.
- Susie genes now we have organic-synthetic, the window shut. Just blew. And get a napkin!
One day the shepherd decided to find out where hides the gun Ashley, sniffed the barrel of a gun he understood.
Garrus and Javik.
And what face Tali? Asked Garrus.
- For fresher, beautiful. When they were a young race, we im genes tweaked! And before. Two fingers, eyes the colour of a black hole, and the third leg. Oh, and Shepard can't tell! Answered AVIC washing their hands in the black mire basin in his cabin.
here is another crazy anecdote:
- I have two news, good and bad - reports the Reaper Harbinger.
P: Let's horoshuu
W: We finally killed Shepard!
P:And the bad?
W: We still can't crush the resistance on Earth, especially in the region called Russia.
P: And what is the reason?
W: In the special units of the Russian armed particularly powerful guns and their commanders. They call themselves Chelyabinsk guys are armed with calamari and the RPG-7.
P: And who are their commanders?
W(very confused): it Turned out that Cerberus resurrected Shepard not only... but also people calling themselves Valuev and out of the chair, and the most important of them are Chuck Norris...
P(quietly Oh***em): Well...uh...in the end the galaxy's many other planets besides Earth
Minusanul first post, it ceased to be red. Happy.
People, what the hell? In addition 18.03.12 19:32 there's not one funny joke, although I have a sense of humor all right. Do not disgrace.
Ashley sits on the parapet of the pool in the citadel-- sees - goldfish -she grabbed her instrumentorum sitting and studying ,then fish --blah let me go on vacation the same meals I always keep words! well, Ashley said 1 desire -- to turienzo was not... pelvis on them ... and 2 nd ...salarians to the krogan send... everything is OK ..yeah well 3 tie---well, then this shit on the Citadel..no-No .. Hmm then I have the penny and a bottle of vodka...
StrelokT3
Not crazy, very real :D
Then continue your idea:
W: Harbinger, we suffer heavy losses!
P: why is that?
W: Russian solder our husky, and they turn again into humans!
P: and you that no husky can not take over this miserable planet?
W: that's not all, they rush us and beat our fists on the hull and have five so lost...... And yet they affect us in very powerful acoustic weapons are weapons...they call it Russian national anthem, our sensors blow!
P: I knew that Shepard it's flowers.....
- Captain, we got the message.
- Pass.
[through the noise] Golakteko danger, I repeat: golakteko danger.
- I don't know what it is, but I'll deal with it...
---
- Tali, phone.
You Normandy, not you Telepono, remember already!
Commander Shepard is so severe that becoming a blue he was an asset and expressed their active position to the creators of the M3
"The shepherd is so steep that it did gay and he POH.
What?????Gay,blue is where he became such,i.e., in what part of the game!??????????????????????????