We've been slammed! — Toyota Harrier, 2.2 liter, 1999

The title of this entry is not played at all. It fully meets all the requirements of harsh reality. First of all, he is infinitely truthful and speaks for himself. Today (to be more precise, already yesterday, because everything happened at about 20:00 on January 9, 2011) Khorya was beaten up.

If in Russian - we broke the windshield. The glass itself and the interior rear-view mirror suffered (it peeled off, flew off and something is now hanging and rattling in it).

This is how it all looks now. Sori for the quality, it's still night, glare. If you look closely - the grid is all over the glass, even at the left and right pillars.

And now (drumroll) the cause of all this mayhem. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome! A stick of smoked sausage!

In a nutshell about what happened.

At about 20:00 Moscow time, the signaling went off in the "weak blow to the body" mode. Looking out from the balcony (I was in the region, with my wife's parents), from the third floor (the car is right under the windows), I did not notice anything strange. Some man on the left is standing, some other man is turning on the "nine", on the right is empty (I looked around for potential culprits). I thought that I "farted" the "nine" exhaust, from which the signaling worked. Looking ahead, I’ll say - I’m guilty, I’m wrong. My system is set up clearly and does not react to any "farts".

After some time, I decided to go down to the car, load the things with which we were going to go to the city. Quite calmly I approach the car, open the doors, put things in, climb into the glove compartment (at the bottom of the glove box) for work gloves and ... I run into something. Trying in the dark to remember what I threw down there. I raise it - it turns out to be a mirror. And only then I, "raising my eyes to the sky," saw a beautiful pattern on the glass.

I confess, after the previous events (see the story with a broken bumper a little earlier in the BZ), I began to fall into hysterics - giggle, twitch and smile stupidly. In general, stress on the face and on the head. The truth quickly pulled himself together and decided to make a small investigation. Namely, to find out what all the same happened and what (or by whom) the glass was broken. I thought about stones, and sticks, and drunken foreheads ... And envious people, whose place I could take, I also went over in my head. In addition to suspicious either ashes or bird droppings, I did not find anything on the janitor. Later, an oily, barely noticeable stain was added to this substance right in the center of the glass. The smell is 100% sausage (but I found out a little later). Having looked around, I found on a bench near the entrance (the car is directly opposite the entrance) a stick of smoked sausage. I didn’t pay much attention to her (because I have not yet seen a greasy stain on the glass), but I was surprised. The stick was whole and quite suitable (at first sight) for eating. I jokingly thought "Khorya was sausage-sticked with a stick of sausage." And, strange as it may seem, he turned out to be right :) While I was taking pictures of the broken glass, the same man came out of the entrance, whom I noticed when I went out onto the balcony to check the cause of the alarm. And a minute before that, having discovered a strange greasy stain on the glass, I made a sniffing examination - I rubbed the stain with my finger, brought it to my nose and smelled the aroma of smoked. A man told me that he was smoking around the corner (there was no reason to doubt his words, quite a decent man-neighbor), when he heard a blow and a whistle of a triggered signal. He came up and saw a sausage right in front of the car and, in fact, the result of a powerful raskolbasa on the windshield. He figured out where the shell could come from and put the sausage on the bench.

Here, in general, that's all. Finding out, walking around the apartments with sausage, who is the bastard that shook my car, I did not. I am convinced that the culprit and without me will be credited in due time. Not a supporter of such methods. I smiled, cheered up, checked the strength of the glass (I was afraid that I wouldn’t get home, but in vain, it seems to hold it tightly), called the master (in addition to the bumper, I also ordered glass for replacement at the end of the week) and wandered home to please my unsuspecting wife and mother-in-law :)

Here is such an appetizing raw-smoked story.

PS. That same evening (I'm not exactly superstitious, but I am very attentive to events, signs, "accidents", etc.) I sprinkled Khorya with holy water, carefully stocked by my beloved mother-in-law. I also agreed with my wife to speed up the process of going to church for an icon for cars (we have been planning for a long time, but somehow sluggishly). Well, I'm waiting for the 19th (baptism all the same), when God himself ordered to use some water for all sorts of good deeds. It certainly won't be redundant. And that is already a lot in a short period of time.