Picker vs. Reptiloid

DISCLAIMER.

Have you ever wondered why humanity, learning to make beautiful cars, we've had a lot creepy the monocab; why do manufacturers have learned to make cars that do not break, began to produce disposable lizingo-carts; and why, those who must sell are doing all that we ran from the car away?

If not thought you here and control the dream from there.
If you have pondered but not so that you is heavily weighed — you can just skip the text until the start of the picture.
If this idea sits in your head constantly, then read on and marvel at how it all fits together.

(So as not to offend anyone, then it will be used a trick known as "Aesopian language", so if you are too lazy to break the brain – just scroll to the pictures.)

INTRO

Even 100 years ago, mankind has made an incredible breakthrough: they created an ideal form of life was able to implant a soul into pieces of metals and alloys, and to a living mechanical creature. CAR.

By the early 2000s, humanity is so close to make the car perfect, so the easiest and most natural way to achieve happiness, freedom and peace, that someone is seriously scared (long known: if your SL — in the world there will be wars).

Of course, I'm talking about the Babylonian Brotherhood (a secret organization created by the reptilians to the centralization of power on the Ground). Because their main way to control humanity – a distraction on fictitious problems, and imposing the "correct lifestyle". They do not need a happy and free humanity, because no one can be happy and free the slaves . And it began to methodically and systematically to deal with the threat: delete from cars all the things for which we love them.

Through the efforts of the reptilians was chosen as the manufacturer who makes the most boring cars, and that made it a world leader. He has filled the world with ugly creep who was going, not slow, not holding the road, and the most terrible — not broke. It would seem that mankind is not buying it, but it was enough to put all this under the slogan "Manage the dream" and voila: the majority of people weak in spirit, neutralized.

However, a small handful of enthusiasts persevered to love technology and to create the Ultimate Driving Machine, exerting a corrupting influence on everyone else.

Then the wily lizards invented car – sharing matrix of a real car, the illusion of motoring stretched over the eye. Everything, in order to blur the dream about the car and turn it into just a vehicle.
And in a world where the masons and the Illuminati a long time feel at ease, it worked: people no longer dream about cars. A person without the M5 in the garage, none other can easily do a slave. The goal is achieved!

However, Russian people were too deeply imbued with gasoline. And in a country where people are willing to pay money for it , even the reptilians will not be able to turn the car from a luxury to a vehicle.

Then saurane sensibly decided: you can not kill in the Russian man's love of cars, but you can deter from purchasing.
The essence of their plot is simple and refined by: a person can get a car, but only after going through suffering and deprivation.

To implement this concept, the reptilians infiltrated into the sales channels with the aim to turn them into "centers of pain." They began to lobby for laws banning sales of cars to all the rest and dominates the small trade, so that all were sold only through these centres. Called the DEALER (it is not difficult to guess is an anagram of the letters in the word Reptilians).

And today a system of suffering and hardship can be considered completely formed.

METHODS

As you know, reptilians live beneath the earth and control humanity through governors in leadership positions, and gliding the rest of the people a system of values and motivations that promote the goals of the reptilians.

That's the way it is organized:

— People came for a new car. But the reptilians had built such a system that the sale of a new car for the price of a new car has become immoral and counterproductive, for the suffering of the customer it almost brings.

— That the person suffered, you can do better: pozovite the car a year in the "corporate podzhopnik", wash and then put in a pass-through location for the price of new. Sophisticated, isn't it? But suffering is not enough...

— So the reptilians invented the torture that is comparable to the binding to the sprouting bamboo. They offered to sell pressed by themselves car! Real bondage, in which all the resources spent on maintaining and pressed a depreciating car. Tricky! But suffering is not enough...

— So the reptilians came up with an elegant way of selecting the last remaining – i.e., the existing vehicle. This execution is called the TRADE-IN. The gist of it is that with cruelty to devalue before removing your old car. And the cruelty of the procedure struck even reptilians, so to alleviate pain from using the trade-in had to come up with a special analgesic: "support the mission" and "discount for trade". You also need them safe and healthy!

It is clear that these sodomy rolls only with those who are already very, very dreaming about the car and ready to acquire it in spite of any flour.

But it turned out that the trade-in can be used to scare ordinary dreamers. This technique is called "Diagnostics for the trade-ins". It works like this: called delicious provisional price, please pay a mandatory diagnosis, the cost of which, of course reckoned then ever, when suddenly...
Well, then again perlative via knee in the final price, refined "on diagnosis", and if you pick a car not come out, and figs with it, earnings on useless diagnosis still remains, but man, otpravivshis, no longer dreams of a new car, and generally driving all thoughts about how to continue to be a motorist.

PRACTICE

Consider a textbook case: in the lair of Repton (well, that on the 5th floor) came to their main enemy – the man who selflessly loving cars. People with a solid understand of what a real car should be rear-wheel drive (albeit sometimes in the role full) must have at least six cylinders, growl, and most importantly – to be beautiful. A kind of automobile Che Guevara.

And of course, this endangered species of human as the most dangerous, was brought down all the power of the reptilian system for the destruction of dreams.

It was like this.

People have prepaid for one-year-old car from a corporate fleet dealer, got approved for her loan, and was going to take my car to his account (previously he has called more than market price).

For this, he arrives at his car (Audi A5 Sportback), pays the same mandatory diagnostic for a trade in (10 000 PE), which will then be counted, and at 10 am giving the car to a service area of the official dealer of Audi, located a few floors below. He promised that the diagnosis will last up to 4 hours.

In 14 hours the owner reported that his car was "No signs of life."

At this point, people understand that on its own strength to resist will not be enough.
I came to 17 hours and at this point nothing has changed and not cleared.

The logic of a healthy person: what if in the process of a divorce, you got carried away and broke someone else's Bibikov?
Option a: to quickly fix it and say nothing.
Option B: if the quick fix does not work, then to say that we screwed up, to fix, to apologize, to give the toffee.

The options are normal, but suffering is not enough... the Logic of the reptilians told me that in this situation you can earn.

For that, everyone was invited into the service area (7 hours after the start of diagnosis and 3 hours later after it became clear that the machine broke).
In one corner there was nothing on the machine reacts. Or rather reacted to it just for the opening and closing, was to listen to the music and moving chairs. But trying to have not reacted in any way. Or rather she did not react to the key. Got a second key – same thing.

To continue the logic of reptilians in all its glory:
— This is your car, it will not start. What do we do?
— Darn. You also gave sound machine and into the service area and it stopped its course.
To fix the desired diagnosis.
— So we passed the car for inspection.
— No, you need a different diagnosis: the purchase order from a Department trade-in, and need from you.
— Ie from us? And who is paying for it to be?
— Someone a custom outfit.
But we have already paid for one diagnostic.
— The diagnosis from trade-ins, and this will be up to you.
— And what diagnosis from trade-ins is not suitable?
— Need another diagnosis from you.
— Can we just return the car to its original state and leave?
— It is possible. But you need to fix. What would need to repair the diagnosis. And in order to make a diagnosis, you need a custom outfit for a diagnosis from you.
— But we have already paid for one diagnostic...

At the 5th round of the "Megillah" we are tired. About the car I was told that such a failure happens at Mercedes, when they vomit on the motor lock the steering column and since this motor is not heard, then dig it there. We went to a Department trade-in refund money for the failed diagnosis.

Walking to the 5th floor (which sits a Department trade-in) 3 (where service of Audi) and back, lasted 19 hours before. During this time it has been revealed that the car broke down in 12 hours (i.e. 2 hours after the start of diagnosis) that the results of the diagnosis actually written the diagnosis "Car shows no signs of life" (I think it's the OSCAR for the best diagnosis!) and that even at 10 in the morning (i.e. at the time of the diagnosis) the car was estimated at 200 Tr otherwise nothing has changed

Night was falling...

At eight o'clock we again went to the service, was asked again to return the car to its original state, 3 times he said that to pay for anything not going. And went to abandon pre-paid "almost new car". In the top of said 4 times that to pay for anything will not. Here, the phrase has worked magic way: the dealer started the car to diagnose only on the basis of the order on the diagnosis (every conceivable violation of the regulations!), decorated, by the way, even at 10 am.

In less than an hour we were told that we can pick up the car. The essence of a lost day was the following: driver-Drover poorly handled departure of steering resulting in disconnected the connector going to the motor lock the steering column. It was put in place and it worked.

By the way, from pre-paid machines people refused to have on their own, because to do business with this dealer for some reason no longer wanted. I just insisted on a refund in full, without any deductions prescribed in the contract.

Money for diagnostics returned a few days later. Deposit returned in full after 20 days and a dozen phone conversations on the raised tones.

But the coolest, after all these attempts of lobotomy and sterilization "the automobile began", the man not only did not go for the new Camry, but even more began to desire this mechanical high-octane sex.

Well, now what, in fact, refused.

Jaguar XE S JAGUAR APPROVED

To abandon the car (and to return the advance payment) was easy, because the status of this car has been described as follows: "the new Car, even running really has not passed, the machine gave someone from the leadership, but he did not use it".
Additionally, guarantee no repairs and textures, and assured that the hand of man this machine is not touched (That's it! The HUMAN hand!). I.e. "you just buy a new car with a huge discount."

Full sizeJaguar XE S (3.0 340 HP) sold under the program JAGUAR APPROVED. 2017, 6700 km of the claimed mileage, the price of 2 440 000. According to the seller the car is not used, no accidents, repairs, and other were not, no test drive and not podminka just a new car at a discount.

In addition the machine has passed under the program the PREMIUM SELECTION – another brainchild of reptiles to bash the desire to own a car. The gist of it (and all similar programs) is to maximize the frustration from the usual car purchase. To do this, your dream about a car decorated with bright colors and inflame the minds of beautiful promises, and then under the form of a Lollipop sell you something completely inedible at an inflated price.

In the case of Jaguar Approved you promise the following:
The cars offered under this programme are carefully selected by the most stringent criteria of the manufacturer and buyers for a wide range of services and privileges, including the highest standards of pre-sale preparation of cars.
To enhance the impact on the immature minds reptilians like to back up promises mathematically: Jaguar Approved checked carefully for 165 points (165? Think that's a record?).

Now compare that draws your imagination, with the car in the photo (don't forget to enlarge the pictures, then you can consider all the schools).

Full sizemost in this car confused state of the driver's seat (on the Jaguar Experience, there are cars with similar mileage, but the chair looks less tired). But the passenger seat makes me think that this car really wasn't in the test drive. Unscrewed the fastener seats and the instrument panel, the seller could not explain. Like a hole in the flooring in the area of the pedals. Well, okay, sleeping on the highest standards of preparation

Full sizeUnder the hood is interesting. The stickers on the headlamps and radiator family. But the face, though not much, but dismantled, as evidenced by the removed fastener. What do you think, looking at the oil filter housing, how many times have changed oil on this car? Let me remind you that the mileage on the dashboard 6700 km. and the most curious: To fix all found problems, JAGUAR APPROVED used only original spare parts and certified equipment. But I know exactly who not agree with this extension of the spar, clip on which you tried to rip with a claw hammer.

Full sizeFor the preparation of the Jaguar Approved used only original spare parts. It's true — the sticker on the new fender liner left front wheel really original. But rubber is not native. Despite the fact that it is a front wheel, a rear wheel drive car and the mileage on the dashboard 6700 km, the same mystery can capture the shabby door. A drop of varnish on the wing, alas, is not 100% evidence perekruta (at JLR quality color high but not stable).

Full sizebut these illustrations in defense of the witch: even under the onslaught of reptiles is dry and he is smiling all the time. Bottom perfectly healthy machine. True to 6700 km (about 10 refills) is not particularly drawn. Brake pads have changed.

In General, the abandonment of the prepayment for this offer was an obvious turbidity. It's like accidentally hooked to the girl in the cafe, and suddenly you are already at the altar, and only at the moment when you ask the question "do you Take...", time to consider that the girl is quite chubby, and bra with foam...

In General, the joy that "smuggled", it is difficult to overestimate.

Mercedes AMG С43 or JUST C-C-C...

Reveling in suddenly returned freedom to go the whole hog! Only sex! Legs pumped, pumped lips, fake Breasts, but huge! AMG!

net/UcAAAgN6cOA-1920.jpg class=c-lightbox-anchor c-pic-zoom data-action=lightbox.zoom data-size=1920,1080 rel=noopener target=_blank>Full sizeNo comments. Mercedes C43 AMG from the official dealer Mercedes. 367 HP 2016. 54 248 km 2 899 000 rubles.

Full sizeHere happened something strange... the Driver's seat is almost in better condition than the passenger. The entire lower part of the cabin to the armrests covered in foil and the front and back. RACE TAXI?

Full sizeWell confirmation of the fact that the external mockery rarely stays outside, covered in a black film from the nozzle 63 + spacers = oil on their heads + oil cooler. The pedal is quite consistent with the mileage, but the condition of the bottom as it is not very either it fried as hell, or it's not mileage (driving South, so that at this mileage, in General, should be as new)

What can I say? The documents are pure and innocent. No accidents and first owner. But it seems that this owner was a pimp. It is unclear what this person did before us, but we do not exactly like...

Will look for something more refined.

BMW 340 and BMW Premium Selection

Slender blonde, long legs, flowing hair: in between having sex and eroticism will be. And these studs and tattoos. Ah...

Full sizeBMW 340i xDrive sold program BMW Premium Selection. 326 HP 2016, the claimed mileage of 20 868 km, price 2 799 000.

And again the program award selection and again the history of the machine repeated the word-the word "Machine, someone from the leadership of BRT, the machine is not used, it is absolutely perfect, without a single color".
In General, your own script this dealer to invent lazy, but err: "Finally is not our car, threw us under the order, is here and worth and even the price is not determined we are."

For a description of the program BMW Premium Selection reptilians came up with such an intricate language that they do not understand what you're buying:
"Every BMW car with mileage certified BMW Premium Selection, has passed a comprehensive diagnosis with a test at 360° in the official dealer center, which indicates the highest degree of quality of the vehicle and its absolute reliability".

But in the end promise is this: Our vehicles with low mileage to high standards, as both visual and technical details like the interior and external appearance — the whole car undergoes a comprehensive careful verification, to ensure compliance with our strictly defined quality standards.

So I invite all to see with a strictly specified quality standards of the seller BMW.

Full sizeOHRINITELNAYA EQUIPMENT (I thought such only in Germany there are, but BRT knows that to take). Let me remind you all, artificially misled that the interior of the BMW — fucking strong. And here's the cover by the standards of the BMW is too exhausted. M-steering wheel in 16 year is not going bald for a second, and walks like all the other wheels (the photo showed the place where the skin is almost untouched, the rest of the skin on the knee).

By the way, came to the Defender Premium Selection (CPN), which would say that the interior here is perfect and matches the mileage, and just went in him, a man weighing 120 kg with a very rough and greasy hands. But no! Dear ZPS, if you drive a new BMW, which will be the first owner, you will know that 20K is not a salon so not naff. Because 20,000 miles IS a NEW CAR. In short, ZPS: if you do not see Nai... look better.

Full sizehere Well, this apparently is the same STRICT STANDARDS of QUALITY, all valve cover around the perimeter of sweat, oil, wet actuator front right wheel, wet the rear right wheel (seems to be the angle to give learned only one way), wet transfer case and a new suspension arm in the front right wheel (the one on the other wheel levers old)

And again, dear ZPS. No one yells at the weeping, as such. Shout only when wet Gelek asking 7.5 mio, when he 5.5, and when wet three-asking 2.8 m & e, when the M4 starts with a 2.9. Well, even when the 50K mileage appears fogging, which usually occurs after 150K, but it is quite heavy category, then the experience need...

Full sizeHow to bring the rubber in this condition 20 000 km I know her as respect. But here is how to make lights such opencommunity — no idea (this is not a film, this is the plastic headlights). Well, about the colors: I'm not yelling that rear wing and front bumper painted, I yell, what the seller said about it, and the price, remember, the 2.8 million — it is not productive, that's all.

Now, objectively. The history of the decomposition of this machine can be traced in the publications and reviews: may 23 ' 17 mileage was 8642 km, 24 July 2017 — 18 515 km August 1, 2018 — 20 868 km. I have no idea Motala mileage or not, and to prove how this is not possible, but I hope that worked. Because if it is a native of 20K mileage, the bloggers and journalists we should legislate to forbid to approach the technique.

Full sizeJudging by the stickers of the headlights family. But, the fasteners of the hood and Unscrew the wing (thank you then carefully poured paint). Traces of serious strokes I found, and figure out what happened, there was no time — I had to look for the car.

We can assume that all these minor flaws overlooked, otherwise they are simply washed away and I would have found nothing, but then the reptilians have maneuvered themselves into a corner with promises: Professional knowledge and the latest technology allows BMW experts carefully inspect every square inch of the cars involved in the programme, BMW Premium Selection

In General, a graceful lady was somewhat more experienced than I, and it looks like bathing in love was the former (which, of course, was kazlų), and we get only treatments, masks, Slippers and a desire to relax.

Mercedes AMG С43. ACCUMULATED

Trying to find a point of sale, is not controlled by the reptilians, we put it not even to the seller, and autorestore, which deals with the fact that "accumulates the best deals on legally clean, new and used cars with an official guarantee".

And here is an offer for us it was "data required" (referring to proposal)

Full sizeMercedes C43 AMG. Akkumuliruya best offer (whatever that means): 2016, 46 000 km of the claimed mileage, 2 590 000 rubles

The fact that this offer is accumulated was evident even with ten steps: accumulated, as expected, from pieces of other Mercedes, shitty paint and elements of street tuning.

Full sizeIn the gap between the bumper and the wing could accommodate a family of meerkats, spacers will be separate to sell on Craigslist. Headlight sucks ampulirovannye after sandblasting is a plus — it means family. And serif from the hood on the front windshield at speed is not affected. But the best part is correspondence with the seller: Rocket start! Thanks to sellers, if not for the car, but for a positive attitude.

Full sizeSalon like salon. Stick to the run even as many believe.

Full sizewould be my feeler gauge certified — I would say that Krasino... And so would have all the eyes look

Full sizeUnfinished fasteners of the front wings (normally the left wing of the left, right?), bitten and stained wizard of the hood, the restoration, if I may say so, the amplifier (I can see how jumping on it to bend it back), some details of the new (pipes), some garbage (decorative cover on the motor).

Full sizeGeneral technical the way it was quite a in claimed mileage do not believe, but will train. Do have to admit that С43 was quite strong.

Full sizeAnd the cherry on the cake, that was no doubt: this puncture on the Mercedes steering wheel appears when you take off the AirBag

Well, in General, behind the student in front of the pensioner.
Besides, if the blonde dyed – down the drain...

OUTRO

I don't know why Rotchild, Rockefeller, Soros and Queen (clean reptilians) so desperate to ensure that humanity hated the car. But I know that pickers and sellers, not by choice was at the forefront of the resistance.

Some are caught reptilian system of motivation, while others are desperately struggling with the auto-mutilation. But those and others are motivated by a love and desire for cars. Therefore, it is important not to forget that it is the reptilians trying to destroy this attraction is our common enemy.

The easiest way to identify reptilians – directly ask the question "Is he a reptile and does he like to eat human children?". There is a rule, unknown to anyone, that reptilians have no right to lie when they ask like in the forehead. So the next time you come to the Dealer and suspecting something was wrong – you know what to do).

We must continue to resist, continue to love and want the CAR! Humanity is worthy to ride on the machines with the label M to break the silence on the machines with the AMG label, conquer the Nordschleife that says Turbo S on the stern!

Because Love will save the world. As always.

PS I Bought a Camry – supported reptilians.