Ivan (part 1)

IVAN
A play in three acts
ACTORS:
Zinaida, an actress. Ulyana Andreyevna, the wife of the superintendent of Bunshi. Queen.
Timofeev, inventor.
George Miloslavsky.
Bunsha-Koretsky, the building Manager.
Shpak Anton Semenovich.
Ivan The Terrible.
I CIN film Director.
Clerk.
The Swedish Ambassador.
The Patriarch.
Guardsmen.
Steward.
G ulary.
Police.
Moscow apartment. Room Timofeeva, next room Shpak,
locked. In addition, front in which radiogrupo.
In the room Timofeeva mess. Screen. The small size of the APPA-
Pat is working on Timofeev. Hair Timofeeva of wsclock-
tained, eyes red from sleeplessness. He is concerned about.
Timofeev (presses the device. Heard pleasant singing tone). Again the sound is the same height... But no light! Why is there no light? Damn you, damn! You do not understand. Check it out. (Makes calculations.) And two, and three... the angle between the positive directions of the axes... cosine... cosine... Right! Don't understand.
In radioreport in front all of a sudden joyful voice:
"Listen to/ Listen to/ Start our morning lecture was a pig farmer..."
Damn that Bunsha with my radio! This disaster in the apartment!
Runs out into the hall, turns off the radio. Shout, grunting, silent. Timofeev returned to the apparatus.
Let's try again.
Presses buttons. The light in the room begins to fade.
* Aha! Yeah! But there is no sound! Again...
■ Room Timofeeva immersed in total darkness. The front door
open, and is Zinaida.
Zinaida (in the front, listening to the melodious sound). Home. I begin seriously to fear that he will go crazy with this machine. Poor man!.. And here it is waiting for a hit... Three times I've been divorced... Yes, three... Susina I don't think... But never had I experienced such excitement. Imagine what will happen now! Only a scandal! They are so tired, these scandals... (powders her face.) Well, go ahead! It is better to untie the Gordian knot... (STU-cheat in the door.) Coca, open up!
Timofeev (l dark). But hell... Who else?
.’Zinaida. It's me, cook.
Room Timofeeva illuminated. Timofeev opens the door,
Coca, are you still up? Coca, your camera will get you killed. After all, not so! I'm sorry, Coca, my friends argue that this is just a crazy idea.
Pause.
Timofeev is busy computing.
I'm sorry I'm interrupting you, but I must tell you terrible news... No, not solved... I Have today at the cafe whistled gloves. So curious! I put them on the table and... I fell in love with another, Coca... No can do... I suspect that's from the next table... do You understand me?
Timofeyev. No... What table?
Zinaida. Oh, my God, you're really stupid with this car!
Timofeyev. Well, gloves... What gloves?
Zinaida. Yes, no gloves, and I fell in love with another. Done!
j'-. Timofeev dull looking at the same.
Just don't argue with me... and don't need scenes. Why do people have to leave certainly with the drama? You must agree, coke, it is not necessary. It's the real thing, and everything else in my life was wrong... You ask who he is? And, of course, think it's Milczanowski? No, get ready: it Director,
very talented.Ine going to play hide and seek, is Yakin.
Timofeyev. So...
Pause.
Zinaida. However, it's weird! This is the first time in my life. He reported that his wife cheated on him, because I really cheated and he was right! Even something as impolite!
Timofeyev. He... that one... blond high?
Zinaida. Well, that's an outrage! To the extent not interested in wife! Blond — Molchanovskoe, remember that! And Yakin, he is very talented!
You ask where will we live? In five hours I leave him in his hand, to choose the place for shooting and when we come back, he should get an apartment in a new building, of course, if he is not lying...
Timofeev (dull). Probably, lying.
Zinaida. How stupid, out of jealousy to insult the man! I mean it's every minute to lie.
Pause.
I had been thinking during the last sleepless nights and came to the conclusion that we weren't right for each other. I'm all in the movie... in art, you with this machine... However, I still am amazed at your calm! And even somehow feel like making a scene. Well... (Goes behind the screen and takes out the suitcase.) I have already met, not to tear you down. Please give me the money to go, I'm back from the Caucasus.
Timofeyev. That's what... forty... one hundred fifty-three rubles — is no more.
Zinaida. And you look in my jacket pocket.
Timofeev (looking). In the jacket there.
Zinaida. Give me a kiss. Goodbye, Coke. Still kind of sad... Because we have lived with you for eleven months!.. Amazed, strongly amazed!
Timofeev kisses Zinaida.
And you don't need me after all. You never know what might happen. However, you such meanness will never do. (Goes in the front, closes the front door.).
Timofeev (stupid looks on her). One... How could I have married? To whom? Why? Who is this woman? (Speaking.) One... But I don't blame her. Really, how can you live with me? Well, one one! No one bothers but... Fifteen... sixteen...
Melodious sound In the front call. Then the annoying call.
How can you work in such conditions!..
Out in front, opens the front door. Included Juliana
Andreevna.
Juliana. Hello, Timofeyev. And van V. you did not go?
Timofeyev. No.
Juliana. Pass Zinaida that Maria Stepanovna said Anna Ivanovna manicurist foreign matter offers, so if Zinaida.*.
Timofeyev. I can't pass Zinaida because she left.
Juliana. Gone where?
Timofeyev. With her lover, and then they will live in the new house, if he is not lying, of course...
Juliana. As a lover? Whew! And you can safely say about this! Original you are the man!
Timofeyev. Ulyana Andreyevna, you are disturbing me.
Juliana. Oh, I'm sorry! However, you character, comrade Timofeev! If I was Zinaida, I would have left, Too.
Timofeyev. If you were on the spot Zinaida, I would kill myself.
Juliana. You can't do that under the noses of the ladies to shut the door, rude!
Timofeev (going back to my room). This house is full of fucking dolls!
Presses the button in the machine and the room it disappears in the dark.
The front door quietly opens, and it appears Miloslav-
sky, ill-dressed, artistic, clean-shaven face of the man in
gloves. Listens at the door Timofeev.
Miloslavsky. The whole world, and this house. Gramophone the very mending. (At the door of the house reads the inscription.) "Shpak Anton Semyonovich." Well, let's go to the Spac... What's funny... Probably sitting in the institution and thinks: Oh, what a lovely castle, I hung it on my door! But actually the castle is for only one purpose, to show that the owner was not at home... (Takes out a skeleton key that opens the lock, enters the room Shpak, closes the door behind him.) Uh, what a beautiful setting!.. I successfully logged in... uh, Yes he has and a separate phone. Great convenience! And what's neat—even your office room recorded. And once recorded, the first duty should call him to avoid any misunderstandings. (On phone.) Department long-distance transportation. Merci. Plus five hundred one. Merci. Friend Shpak. Merci. Comrade Starling? Bonjour. Comrade Starling, you to the end today in the service will?.. Says one artist.. No, not familiar, but I'm dying
to meet you. So you work until four? I'll call you soon, I'm very persistent... No, blonde... Contralto... Well, yet. (Hangs up.) Terribly surprised. Well, let's begin. (Breaks into a wardrobe, takes out a costume.) Cheviot... Oh!.. (He removes his tie in a newspaper, wears a suit Shpak.) As I sit... (Hacks the Desk, picks up watch with chain, pockets the cigarette case.) For. three years that I was not in Moscow, as they are all things pooltables! Beautiful gramophone... and the hat... My room. A pleasant day!.. Ugh, tired! (Breaks into a cupboard, pulls out a vodka, snack, drinks.) What is he insists vodka? Lovely vodka! No, it's not wormwood..* And cozy in his room... He and pochi+AMB loves... (Takes the book and reads.) "Without the holiday feasting with a team daring Vanyusha terrible under old Moscow... Bucket gold tables possess a number of riotous for them, the guardsmen sit..." a Glorious poem! Beautiful poem!.. "Long live Chiune, the guardsmen are mine! Well you louder beat in the strings, accordions, such as nightingales..." I like this stihotvoreniya(Т7о the phone.) Department long-distance transportation. Merci. Plus five hundred one. Merci. Friend Shpak. Merci. Comrade Starling? It's me again. Tell me what you vodka insist?.. My name is mysterious... From the Bolshoi theatre... And what a surprise for you tonight!.. "Without the holiday feasting with a team daring Vanyusha terrible under old Moscow..." (hangs up.) Terribly surprised. (Drinks.) "Buckets of gold tables Blee-become a series..."
Room Shpak immersed in the darkness, and into the room Timofeev typed
light.
The device is now often gives melodious sounds, and the time from the time around
the camera changing lighting.
Timofeyev. Glows! Glows! It is another matter...
The front door opens, and in walks Bunche. The first duty
turns his attention to the radio receiver.
Bunsha. Incredible effort I spend on it to bring culture into our home. I have ratifitsirovala, but they stubbornly do not use the radio. (Pokes fork into the plug, but the device is silent.) Intermission. (Knocks at the door Timofeev.)
who is there to login... so you dip
Bunsha included.
This is not enough!..
Bunsha. It's me, Nikolai.
Timofeyev. I see, Ivan. I'm surprised at you, Ivan! At your age you would be sitting at home, grandchildren to babysit, and you go a whole day wandering through the house with a greasy book. I'm busy, Ivan, I'm sorry.
Bunsha. This house book. I have no grandchildren. And if they were, then I'd give it to the pioneers, and not at home to nursing. And if I stop going, there will be a horror.
Timofeyev. State collapse?
Bunsha. Will crash if the rent will not be paid. We in the house think that it is possible not to pay, and in fact impossible. Generally our house is awesome. I walk around the yard and shake. All Windows opened, all the sills are and talk about Soviet life are things that tell uncomfortable.
Timofeyev. Honestly, I don't understand, you need to be treated, the Prince.
Bunsha. Nikolay Ivanovich, you don't call me Prince, I have proven through the submission of documents for the year before I was born my dad went abroad, and, thus, it is obvious that I am the son of our coachman Panteley. I like Pantaleo.
Timofeyev. Well, if you are the son of a coachman, the better. But I have no money.
Bunsha. I implore you, pay the rent.
Timofeyev. I'm telling you, there is no money now... my wife left Me, and you tortured me.
Bunsha. Excuse me, what had I said?
Timofeyev. So what's the case?
Bunsha. This thing, I have to immediately write.
Timofeyev. She asked me not to write.
Bunsha. Still, I should have mentioned in the book this event. (Notes in the book.) I sit down.
Timofeyev. Yes you do not need to sit down. How do you explain that I was not to be disturbed during this work?
Bunsha. No, you explain. I'm best man.
Yesterday was the lecture for the superintendent and I a tremendous favor received. Read about sexually transmitted diseases. In General, our life is very interesting and useful, but we in the house do not understand.
Timofeyev. When you speak, Ivan Vasilevich, the impression is that you are delusional!
Bunsha. Our house in General is very strange. Shpak all the time mahogany buy, but pays the rent on tight. And you an unknown car made.
Timofeyev. That's torture, I swear!
Bunsha. I beg of you, Nikolai Ivanovich, you about his car state. To register it is necessary, and then in a wing of the ladies are already saying that you are a machine build to it from under the Soviet authorities to leave. And that, you know... and you will perish, and I with you for company.
Timofeyev. This is bullshit this nonsense said?
Bunsha. I'm sorry, this is my wife Ulyana Andreyevna said.
Timofeyev. Guilty! Why are these witches talk nonsense? I know it's not ladies, it's your fault. You, old itching, running around the house, spying, tattling and most importantly, you're lying!
Bunsha. After these blood insults I am leaving the apartment and headed to the police. I — a person holding a responsible post of superintendent, and is obliged to observe.
Timofeyev. Wait, damn you!.. I mean, for God's sake, wait... Excuse me, I got excited. Well, come here. I simply do experiments on penetration during... Yes, however, as I will explain, what is time? After all, you don't know what a four-dimensional space, movement... and in General... in short, understand that it will not explode, is not harmful... actually, nobody's business! Well, how would you easier... for example, I want to now permeate the space and go back...
Bunsha. To permeate the space? This experience can be done only with the permission of the police. I have like super anxiety from such experiences.
Timofeyev. Oh, my God, my God! (Pause.) Ah!.. After all, I... No, I'm a nerd! Because I... because I was working in a locked key! Oh, absent-minded fool! Wait! Look! Look what happens now...
Try it at close range... small corner... (Turns the key, presses the button.) See... now we move through the space during... ago... (Presses button.)
Ringing. Darkness. Then light.
The wall between the rooms disappeared, and the room Shpak sits Vipava-
in big business organisations with a book in his hands.
(Frantically.) Did you see that?
Miloslavsky. And damn it to hell... What is that?!
Bunsha. Nikolai Ivanovich, where is the wall go?! Timofeyev. Good luck! Good luck! I'm beside myself! Here it is! Here it is!..
Bunsha. An unknown citizen in the room Shpak! Miloslavsky. I'm sorry, what's the matter? What happened? (Takes the record player, your host, and goes into the room Timofeev.) Now there was a wall?!
Bunsha. Nikolay Ivanovich, you will be responsible for the wall under the law. Here you what kind of car did. Floor-apartments are gone!
Timofeyev. Yes well you to hell with your wall! Her nothing made!..
Presses the button of the device.
Darkness. Light. The wall is in place, closes the door Shpak.
Miloslavsky. On two channels was seen the wonders of technology, but nothing like this!
Timofeyev. Oh God, I feel dizzy!.. Found! Found! O mankind, that is waiting for you!..
Bunsha (Miloslavskogo). I'm sorry, you are who this will be?
Miloslavsky. Who I am, you say? I'm waiting for my friend Shpak.
Bunsha. And how do you wait until the door of the castle closed?
Miloslavsky. How do you say? Castle? Oh yeah... he's behind the "News" went to the corner to buy, and I... it's... locked...
Timofeyev. Yes well you to hell! What a vulgar question! (Miloslavskogo.) You see, I pierced time! I did it..
Miloslavsky. Tell me, is it, therefore, any wall can be removed? Your invention is no price, a citizen of the intellectual! Congratulations to you! (Bunse.) What


you look at me like a father? On me patterns are not present, and the flowers do not grow.
Bunsha. I was tormented by a vague doubt. To you the same suit as the Starling.
Miloslavsky. What do you say? Suit? Did Shpak one striped suit in Moscow? We are friends and always in the same Torgsin to buy a matter. And if you don't believe, I'll even tell you: eight rubles a meter. It satisfies you?
Bunsha. And hat is the same.
Miloslavsky. And hat.
Bunsha. And what's your family name?
Miloslavsky. I am an artist state big and chamber theatres. What do you think of my name? It is too known to I called her.
Bunsha. And the chain is the same as the spac. Miloslavsky. Uh, what you annoying! Hat, necklace... it's disgusting!.. No holiday feasting with a team daring Vanyusha terrible...
Timofeyev. Leave you, in fact, a citizen alone. (Miloslavskogo.) Maybe you want to go back to Shpak's room, I open the wall for you?
Miloslavsky. In any case. I had offended. In fact, go for "News" and disappeared. He may be two hours to walk. And I in Torgsin in a hurry, I daily come in Torgsin. I'm better for the experience look, he liked me very much.
Timofeev (shakes his hand). I am very happy! You were the first one I saw... You, so to speak, the first witness.
Miloslavsky. Never has the witness did not have to be! Very, very nice... (Bungie.) Look here! You on a hole will RUB off!
Timofeyev. This is our super.
Miloslavsky. Ah, that explains it!.. Hat, necklace... Oh, what a nasty post! How much I trouble was, if you knew a citizen scientist.
Timofeyev. Do not pay attention to him. Miloslavsky. And it's true.
Timofeyev. You know, sir... Miloslavsky. How could I not understand? Tell me, and the store is wall to lift? Oh, what a fascinating experience!
Bunsha. You with the gramophone came to the Spac?
Miloslavsky. It is killing me! This is what
this" huh? <
Timofeev (Bunse). You will no longer molest or not? (Miloslavskogo.) Understand that it is not in the wall, it's only the first movement! The fact is that without going through all these walls, I can get into. time! You know, I can go for two hundred, three hundred years backward or forward! Yes, three hundred!.. No, that the invention is not know the world!.. I'm worried!.. My wife left me today, but, you know!.* Ah...
Miloslavsky. Citizen Professor, not a hard-ivites, for you will go any! You spit that she left you!
Bunsha. I discharged her.
Miloslavsky (Bunse). FIE on you!.. Without rest feasting Vanyusha terrible... Oh, what an invention! (Knocks on the wall.) Raised — went out — got it! Oh, my God!
Timofeyev. My hands are shaking... I can't stand. Want, sneak in past... Want see the ancient Moscow?.. Are not you afraid?.. You're not worried?
Bunsha. Nikolai Ivanovich! Think again before such experiments in the zhakt to do!
Miloslavsky. If you ever interfere in the experience of the citizen and academician, I love you! That punishment! (Timofeyev.) Go ahead!
Timofeev presses buttons on the device.
Ringing. Darkness. Flash occurs the chamber of Ivan the terrible. John, with his staff, in Royal apparel, sitting in the chair, and before John, he was seated at the table, says the clerk. Hear the distant Church singing, a soft bell ringing.
John (dictates), "...and the head..."
Clerk (writing), "...and the head..."
John, "...to prenesena village, Reverend father superior, Kuzma..."
Clerk. "...Kozma..."
John, "...the Tsar and Grand Prince Ivan Vasilyevich of all Russia..."
Clerk, "...of all the Russias..."
John, "...brow beats".
Timofeyev. Oh my God! Look! But this is John!
Miloslavsky. Holy smoke!..
John and deacon turn their heads, hearing voices. The clerk screams and
escapes from the chamber. John jumps and a cross. .
John. Scram! Damn! Unfortunately for me, a sinner!.. Woe is me, wretched! Bad murderer, Oh!.. Scram!
Looking for a way out, John is in a frenzy rushes into the room Timofeev,
baptizes wall, swerves, runs into the hall, hiding.
Timofeyev. He's Ivan The Terrible! Where are you?!. Wait!.. My God, see him!.. Keep it up! (Runs off after John.)
Bunsha rushes to the phone.
Miloslavsky. Where are you calling?! Bunsha. The police!
Miloslavsky. Wrap it up, I'll hand the Poincare rival! Can't live without the police for one second!
The chamber bursts into the Oprichnik. •
Oprichnik. Where are the demons? Yes Goy! Kill them! (Bungie.) Where is the king?
Bunsha. I don't know! Help!..
Miloslavsky. Lock up your car! The machine shut! Oprichnik (cross). Oh, demons!.. (Бросаетt Berdysh, disappears from the chamber.)
Miloslavsky. Close! Turn key! Key! So the machine!..
Bunsha presses buttons, pulls out a key. Simultaneously—ringing. The curtain on the window is blown up, suffered paper. Bonsu is dragged into the chamber, he drops the glasses.
Bunsha. Help!.. Where to take me?! Miloslavsky. Where did you move it, damn machine?!
Suffered Miloslavsky.
Darkness. Light. The wall in place. The room has no Bunshi no Miloslavsky. It remains only a gramophone and bundle glasses.
Appears Timofeev.
Timofeyev. In the attic was locked! Help me out again!.. God, where are they? Huh? (Rushes to the machine.) They moved the arrow in the opposite direction!! They were taken?.. What will it be?.. Bunsha! Bunsha! Ivan Vasilyevich!
Far cry John.
This in the attic yells!.. But the key is where is the key?.. God, they key pulled out! What to do let me!.. What to do then, eh?.. No key... Well, took the key from... Ivan
Stage. Why are you the key took?! However, it is useless to yell. They key bring... to Return to the room?.. (Runs away.)
Pause.
j. Opens front door and enters the house.
Shpak. Some concern to me since then, as the blonde from the Bolshoi theater called... couldn't see out in the service of... (Touches the lock on my door.) For goodness sake..
Room Shpak illuminated. Starling enters, rushes to the written
table.
Father! (Rushes to the cupboard.) Priest!! (On phone.) The police! Police?!
The voice in the radio: "so, comrades, we continue our lecture on
the pigs..."
In a lane, ten— Grand theft, comrade!.. Who? Of course, me, Starling! Shpak my name!.. The blonde robbed!
Voice in radio: "Fertility, dear comrades, pig inferior
only rabbit, and that with difficulty. In the tenth year two pigs can
to give one million pigs!.."
Chief... It's not about the pigs I say! Don't listen about pigs! This radio! Didn't steal the pig! Coats and suits!.. What are you angry?
Voice in radio: "the Ancient Romans for the fertility adored pigs..."
Listening to? Well, I'll now make it up to you myself! My father, my father!.. (Sobbing, rushes from the room and hiding behind the front door.)
Voice in radio, is no longer restrained, poured wave: "Many believe the pig is a brute, stupid and untidy. Oh, how unfair it is, comrades! Whether negative pork side be attributed to treatment with this beast? Treat the pig well I and you will get the opportunity to train..."
Another voice breaks in first: "And now the band harmonies
will perform the popular dance of Anitra..."
Music.
Curtain