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Svetloyar 12.01.20 11:02 pm

Jokes on Skyrim (The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim)

Funny, did not find similar topics. Write here your stories. Just do not martinich joke dragonborn so severe, that not goes to the toilet as in similar topics on other games.

The end of the month, payday.
- So, the plan is executed, VIP customer service, passed the report.
- An honest fee for honest work. An honest fee for honest work. An honest fee for honest work.

I was exasperated by all the expensive travels, but then I took an arrow in the knee...

Married companion, in bed just a beast!

And in Skyrim, didn't know that the Russians have been using the shouts, putting them in the soul. And, of course, all shouts consist of three words; here stumbled for example, and issue a f** your mother!... and it helps!

PS. Not specifically about Skyrim, but you, too, after the announcement of a storm warning waiting for him for the next morning to tell her peacefully sleeping in the chair Khajiit well, you and Sonya, even yesterday's storm didn't Wake you up?
134 Comments
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M
MMikeRUS 12.01.20

Creative,man.Keep going.

E
Eydvrat 12.01.20

Fun

S
Sheril 12.01.20

Funny, did not find similar topics
Also wanted to make a topic of jokes on the Internet about Skyrim not found

And now apparently already appeared...

sleeping in the chair Khajiit well, you and Sonya, even yesterday's storm didn't Wake you up?
And... from Morrowind, not surprised

J
Joker 20 12.01.20

I had such a case: I killed as the preacher of Talos in Whiterun, and the local drunk came up to him(the dead body) said,At the scattered things, you can stumble

S
Sheril 12.01.20

There is a new of quotations Runet:
1.
xxx: what is Skyrim?
yyy: RPG
xxx: perfect answer
XXX: and open and pomotional?
yyy: there you can see the horse in the ass, to put someone on the head with a pot and until he sees, to steal something from him

S
SaIIIa 12.01.20

Taken from another site. All intellectual property belongs to their respective owners.

Redguard and Edgardo in the battle tearing apart the mammoth.
- I meat! - said the husband.
- I Tusk!
Why?
- You'll be hit in the head.
Why?
- Tired of your stories about how the giants alone walk.

The University of magic, the Magician, the Teacher asks the pupil:
- Where have you been?
- That a volume of Art of magicians, open the 56 page...
But she's torn!
- Well, what do you think - where was I?

N
NightHawkreal 12.01.20

The dragonborn returns to Ulfric and reports:
- Jarl of Whiterun made it clear that he is for the Empire, and now, help me get your axe out of my z----Tsy.

C
Corewood 12.01.20

A conversation between two guards:
- You're in custody were?
Yeah I used to be a adventurer but then I took an arrow in the knee. And you?
- Yes, damn it, the same garbage...

w
we get what we deserve 12.01.20

In the evening at 8:00 Last grain open evening dedicated to the guards suffering from wounds of an arrow in the knee.

V
Votya 12.01.20

And, that's Skyrim! See, my whole Fantasia on anecdotes about oblivion, but one that will give:

A letter to the developers:
Dear Bethesda! My dad is obsessed with your game series The Elder Scrolls and doesn't want to communicate with me. What do I do?

Dragonborn Uriel Nerevarine 10 years

w
white_wolf45 12.01.20

Yes, Skyrim itself is like a big joke: any guards with guns prostrelyanymi knee!(want to become a guard in Skyrim - shot himself in the knee))))

V
Votya 12.01.20

Inexperienced character went to Windy Peak. With grief in half, killed the bandits, got the Golden Claw and went further into the tomb. Goes, shaking the entire - and everywhere coffins with skeletons - scary! And then catches him from behind some dark figure and asked in a whisper:
- What, are you afraid?
- B-b-fear - meets GG.
- When I was alive was scared too.

R
Roma-Jan 12.01.20

Votya
Well, you slightly changed another joke. And where is Windy Peak?

H
Houck 12.01.20

X: why do you love Skyrim?
Y: Only in my memory game in which you can naturally get to YELL at the enemy...

V
Votya 12.01.20

Roma-Jan
Well, then it changed, not changed, I'm a girl:) Actually I think 95% of the jokes about the game is the altered other. Windy Peak - how to explain? Well, not in the tavern as he shoved!))

N
NightHawkreal 12.01.20

Shoot at the knees - ordered General Tullius, seeing the Dragonborn leading the attack Brothers of the Storm.

I
Izuchennyy 12.01.20

The secret of victory over the dragon - cover your ears before the fight!

O
Ochen dobryy 12.01.20

Dragonborn: Stop or I'll shoot!!

The Giant: I...

Dragonborn: Shoot!

I
Izuchennyy 12.01.20

How long is the dragon fire-breathing dragon begged the dark elf to let him go...

Announcement:

Caution! The falling skeletons of dragons!
Dragonborn learns to shoot a bow at a moving target!

Dragon hunters was despondent. Instead of heads they get all the skull...

Dragonborn was offended when she saw the inscription Not to cry!

D
Doktor Cerber 12.01.20

Is dragonborn and his companion, a satellite, notably winded
-Go! We have a long way!-said Dragonborn
Companion swayed and fell
Dragonborn and thinks: probably the 500-th bone of the dragon, which I gave him for storage was unnecessary.


(who does not understand the game of satellites can be loaded things to infinity)