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stalker7162534 24.09.19 12:46 pm

Jokes, damn it, fifth series!

Is little johnny down the hall with a globe, meets his teacher and asks:
- Vovochka, where are you going?
- In the toilet!
- Why do you want Globus?????
- Well, you know, the mood, the world we@host wants!!!!!
173 Comments
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Rikudo Nagashi 24.09.19

Haha. Very funny.

S
Scream561 24.09.19

Great sense of humor. I'm under the table.

V
VaMpiRe 24.09.19

connoisseurs iumora)

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Madness 24.09.19

Stomach almost burst.

E
Ease 24.09.19

Vivem Bash in PG?

O
Olchik1 24.09.19

yeah!!! not bad

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Mr.Paradox 24.09.19

In short there is a hedgehog, is himself - no one touches. There was a machine gun. Took, goes further - meets wolf.

Tuff-tuff (shoots machine gun), I Nasr*, tuff-tuff, you will eat, tuff-tuff, and if not, tuff-tuff, the Khan to you.

Well, wolf, not long thinking, ate shit a hedgehog, and the hedgehog went on. Meets a Fox.

Tuff-tuff (shoots machine gun), I Nasr*, tuff-tuff, you will eat, tuff-tuff, and if not, tuff-tuff, the Khan to you.

Fox peresr*Las, ate their feces and hedgehog. The hedgehog went ahead and meets a bear.

Tuff-tuff (shoots machine gun), I Nasr*, tuff-tuff, you will eat, tuff-tuff, and if not, chop, chop... I'll eat it.

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Rondegro 24.09.19

– Someone stole lint from my belly button! I'm calling the police!
– You're a drug addict or something?
Why?
– You live in what country?! The police do not care!

V
Volt123 24.09.19

Wife tries on new jeans and asks her husband:
- How does it look?!
He told her:
- To tell you the truth?!
Yes.
-I slept with your sister!

R
Rikudo Nagashi 24.09.19

Okay, push it in here and I have a few anecdotes...

Lieutenant Rzhevsky wakes up in a brothel, getting dressed, going to leave.
- Lieutenant! And the money? – shouted the lady.
- Hussars do not take money! – proudly replied the Lieutenant.
-----------------------------------
Birthday Natasha Rostova. Natasha was invited to the festival of Lieutenant Rzhevsky and all hussars regiment. The Lieutenant oversees the moral character of the hussars – that something blurted out. At the table, Natasha tries to make small talk:
You know, I got 17 candles for a birthday cake, and it got only 16. Don't know where to put another one?...
From the table gets up to the Lieutenant Rzhev and yells:
- HUSSARS, BE SILENT!
-----------------------------------
- Nick, why'd you steal mielofon?
— You see, Alice, I thought...
— Were you thinking? You losers unlucky? Do you think though about something I think? Oh, by the way, now I turn on the device and hear what you think! Oh... What about? Oh... And that's it? And this way too??? Well, Since I don't know... Let's at least first, go to the movies....

A
Aleksey Konoplyanyy 24.09.19

Tajik students, write an essay on the topic: "How I drove it."

A
Aleksey Konoplyanyy 24.09.19

- Mom, I'll never eat mushrooms!
- Why, son?
- Yesterday I promised them!


- Why do you swear?
Because consecutive change of conditions and replicas of some individuals to oppress my mind.
What?
- Go to*UY!

A
Aleksey Konoplyanyy 24.09.19

FSB exceeded the plan for the introduction of investigators in the gang. At the moment there are 15 groups consisting entirely of FSB operatives.

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Rikudo Nagashi 24.09.19

There is a mineral water called I.
Went to the store, saying:
Hello, let poltorahu I
And a half what?!

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Max Fry 24.09.19

Manufacturer of noodles "Doshirak" nominated for the Nobel prize in chemistry: the composition of the noodles discovered chemical elements, not previously known to science.

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SH. 24.09.19

Question to police:
- My daughter is 9 years old. Her height is 1 m 50 cm, and it is already rising with her grandmother.
Whether grandma car seat to buy?
>>>>>>>>>>
If military schools are taught the word of command, in medical school -
therapeutic handwriting.
>>>>>>>>>>
Briefly about the weather. Today broke down yesterday and washed the t-shirt.

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Rikudo Nagashi 24.09.19

(Anecdote on the subject of Anton Ural, who knows this guy, Lurkmore to help)
- Oh, the cold...
- I understand you!
No, you don't!!! You don't understand anything and sit tight!!!

R
Rikudo Nagashi 24.09.19

Spoiler



You can also neighing =)

PS Sorry for multiposting, there is simply no evading, and jokes I have a lot... :)

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Sayffer 24.09.19

- I'll be a good husband and will never change... Just balls release!

- You know what feelings I had after graduation? Master gave Dobby a sock! Dobby is free!

- Why do you shut me out? I hear you're lonely, you groan inside.
- Blah, Petrovich, step away from the door, let me shit in peace!

- Well, son, again, wandered all night, drank, smoked, fucked?
- Dad, the envy, bad feeling

- Irina was not drinking, not Smoking girl. Wandered at night. Laid down at 22.00 and get up at 6-00. It was a quiet and even docile.
But when I got out of jail, everything changed...

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Rikudo Nagashi 24.09.19

The girl came to the party dressed as squirrels, and... scared the shit out of the guard of the kindergarten.