Just for shits and giggles.
Keep you.
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Make the Bank card. Give the contract to a few leaves, beginning to read. Hear from the operator perturbation You now all that it will read?
The main thing for men not to plant a tree, build a house and give birth to a son, and to make it all different instruments.
— You know, Sam, if you poured tea to the brim, then it's not from the generosity... No...
— And from what?
— So you are still able to put in sugar!
Role playing between husband and wife ended in a quarrel before it even started: my Husband was dressed as the doctor and asked, Nutritionist called?
I'd like to do the house cleaning, and press Save!
Today watched the work of an electrician and realized that all the wires are divided into two categories: Like this and fuck!
Modern girls drinking on March 8, more than paratroopers on Day of airborne forces.
Resuscitators Easter is celebrated not only as a religious holiday, but also as a professional.
Time heals... the Main thing - do not die during treatment.
Shitty morning is when the booze all together, and to work endurite you alone.
Friend says: those who have no children, I don't know what is really tired.
Silly, she just never drank 12 days in a row...
Received from the Department of labor memo for action in the event of hostage-taking read team. Introduced. There are paragraphs like:
- carry deprivation, abuse and humiliation, do not look into the eyes of the criminals, do not behave provocatively,
- adhere to the criminals do not contradict them, do not risk the lives of others and your own, try to avoid hysteria and panic.
- to commit any actions (sit, stand, drink, go to the toilet), ask permission.
These bastards have returned the memo and said that they know the collective agreement read...
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Meals like that in Ryazan, stop at a traffic light, look next to the guy is exactly the same radio as me. I take control and make him the volume, he turns...again, I add, it diminishes! I can say, he turns off the radio, I turn!
The man crossed himself, pulled the radio panel and put it in the glove box!!!
From the words of another. Beloved mother-in-law decided to visit her grandson for Christmas from Peter straight in French-speaking Geneva. I flew some early morning flight with Swissair. Fell asleep, slept through Breakfast. Calls a flight attendant and, as in foreign is not strong, trying with gestures to ask to bring Breakfast. No way. And then the brain, having one known to him the analogy produces a set of familiar and sort of relevant in a situation, but it is absolutely incomprehensible to him sounds:
- Monsieur, do not mange pas ICI jour (Monsieur, je ne mange pas six jours*)
Surprisingly, it worked! Instantly TWO servings of Breakfast! However, I had to eat all caring flight attendants and overwhelmed by what is happening in the crisis in Russia and the neighbors-Franks...
*Monsieur, I do not eat six days Jon from 12 chairs
An angry husband sends his mother a TEXT message: Your product (daughter) not cooking food normal! Not cleans the apartment! Does not wash and Ironing my shirt! Mother-in-law says: the Choice made by you personally! The product is sold. The warranty has expired. The manufacturer is not responsible! PS: Possible program crash... Try to rotate where you have your key... don't do it yourself - hire wizard!
Child cured tooth. Mom,taking it from the dental office says:
- Son, what should aunt to say?
Boy through tears:
- Bitch!!!
The husband comes home in a drunken gravino:
Wife, run a bowl to me! SchA will puke!!!
The wife brought a basin, he stands over him, swaying and not throwing up...
Wife:
- Well?!?!
Husband:
- The concept has changed... I'm crap...
The man in the shed brews moonshine, went for water to the well, came back, and in the barn the cops:
- Moonshine persecuted. Write explanatory!
- What to write?
- Write as is.
Wrote. Those I read:
See the smoke coming from the barn. I think the fire. Take two buckets of water and going to put out. Come, and there is two COP moonshine brew.