Gordon Freeman as a character in the game v8 (Half-Life 2)

Five minutes of nonsense in the Club Stellamara)

Somewhere in the wilds of the fourth episode...
...Gordon and Barney met again and were still able to drink beer. And not just beer. And not only to drink.
Scoring school, Gordon said, to no one in particular:
- I was just wondering, Eli... He was black.
Yeah, surprised glanced at him Baring, twisting a tourniquet on the forehead.
And Asian, it was yellow. the joint stubbornly refused to accumulates. Gordon was beginning to get angry, not understanding what was happening.
- Yes, I was... although when we rode on the boat she was green... - Barney poured beer in a hole in the forehead, done for the direct input of alcohol into the brain.
Gordon was beginning to yell, he realized that the school is not ignited, because he has no lighter. Pulling out of the suit lighter, case по8шло smoothly.
- So... If Eli was black, and his wife yellow, it turns out, Alix - black-yellow daughter?
Barney chuckled.
- So, Alix bee? he looked at Gordon, a deeply protracted white bundle, with each second becoming more... Um, I don't know.
- Turns.
Barney took a SIP from the jar, which appeared in the stairwell. Gasping, he dropped her, clutching his swollen tongue. From banks busted a fat bee, uhmylnulsya blatantly in the face... the face of... um.... Barney.
- MUA-ha-ha-ha! - there was a terrible voice - my Name - Pchely, and my last name - Smells!
- I never would have thought that Eli was a Buddhist, Gordon sucked in the ashes of a Spliff, which to him appears to be no effect.
- Well, then he's not offended by this, Barney slammed Pchela boot. At the same time there was cotton, and out of nowhere next to the Fox hole appeared the g-man. He silently walked over to the stunned Barny and handed him a piece of paper.
- You a summons to court.
- For what??? Barney was still holding the boot.
- For the deliberate murder of the General Director of the company intergalactic messenger Beeline...

- So, Alix bee?
LOL! :D

Overall - not very, in a five-minute delirium is docekuje laughter...

in a five-minute delirium is docekuje laughter... and thanks for that)

not understanding what was happening
After "realizing" we need a comma.

when we rode on the boat she was green
After the "boat" needs a comma.

case по8шло smoothly
*went

um....
You need to remove one of the points.

apparently no effect
After "apparently" need a comma.

*brain exploded*
How do you not get bored, Combine? ))

After "realizing" we need a comma. - is not necessary.

How do you not get bored, Combine? ))
What? To write the template "after "x" need/not need a comma," or to look for typos? First I have a special button:

And find typos I never do, they are noticed.

not needed
Well, not needed.

For this I have a button: - dude, tell me it's real))

dude, tell me it's real
Of course it's real. Firefox+Custom buttons the same.

For this I have a special button:
Tool soldier grammar-Alliance ;)

Hmm, remembering that 999 got here through Gago, I think it was sarcasm coincidence (or was it sarcasm 999?)... For more illiterate (and even with an admixture of Ukrainian words) creativity, I don't remember in my lifetime)))

All right, mixture is drawn to the smell of ochepyatok %D

For more illiterate... I don't remember
Well if this is your to take, in my opinion, the forum was/is samples and bigger...

(and even with an admixture of Ukrainian words), Chehovo? O_O You them there saw?

Kriggy reread the post Sonic carefully.

/read, broken eyes and took a bite Mosk/
I still do not understand.

It's not about you, G. U. G. M. A. - creative Sonic.

Gas tree? It's protoopalina! (c) Unknown sambin.

The story I read. Sometimes it was funny, but not very much. He smiles about the Beeline and promazyvanija to him Eli. He smiled because one of the familiar companies the subscribers of Beeline called people dual orientation in situations, when to call a spade a spade unprofitable or dangerous. And now, with this knowledge, I stumble upon Pchela... Life is automatic extension for a couple of hours. Author note: it could do Pcela a bit longer (see little money, long bumblebee).

All of a sudden! (two years later)

The Flashback V
Freeman was dark. Freeman was wet. Freeman was stuffy. Freeman was eaten by tentacles. The flashlight highlighted the red throat of the creature, which was stuck to Gordon, caught with a crowbar. He scratched his head with a tire iron, the scientist came to the conclusion that the situation is quite good. Even hèdkrabom couldn't help, who tried at this time to include the fuel supply, but couldn't do due to the lack of eyes that it would have missed the scanner of this authority.
Meanwhile, tentacly were not much better, some Neanderthal with a spear from the rack and loincloth from the skins of Asians, tried to kill him. Actively trying, and even this scientist was distracted, shouting:
- Stop It Eli! It's not bullsquid!!!
And while all this Orgy lasted, the security guard Barney with his Torelli squeezed the microwave some Messi Arsenal Christmas special in a white coat. While Messi Arsenal Christmas special has actively stated that he is not Messi Arsenal Christmas special, and doctor Magnusson. But Barney was a heck of a guard and did not believe a single word of alien terrorist. And that would somehow intimidate him, the guard was called Freeman.
And ending everything, or the icing on the cake was the soldiers. On his head he wore the skull of a Buffalo that was lying before the entrance to the lab, shoulders, skulls decorated vortigaunts, which still had some brains, breast decorated with a piece of the armor of the tank, to the feet was attached the legs of the former black berets (literally their legs, so as to remove their device came out), on the left hand he wore a huge bunch of scared to death barnacles, and on the right is no less terrified of Messi Arsenal Christmas special, as to his scrap... then it is attached to the turret from the tank. And we still keep silent about the loincloth of skins captain Grila, tentacle instead of the scarf and sticking out of pockets eye Kaunda. In General, the gallant corporal Shepard stopped (tried to stop but only worsened) all this tumult thrown a smoke grenade from... well, at least we found out why his smoke out of his pants constantly. Smokescreen was not easy, because the smoke contained a hallucinogenic substance. And already a scientist named Isaac Kleiner rushed to the chair on tentacle shouting "I invented the microwave, not you, Magnusson!". But to protect tentacle Eli stood up shouting "don't touch my Asian! This is my female!". Tentacle also could not explain what is going on and why he sees these glitches and what he actually sees, because he has no eyes. Barney same, I forgot about the alien monster, which by the way is hiding in the microwave away from sin, and now were kissing passionately with turelli.
But in the end killed more than all the hèdkrabom. In the literal sense. He still made it to the fuel and burnt tentacle, pozavtrakala a Free Man. So on all this the ashes are left Freeman with a crowbar and seoptimise Kleiner, who was chewing on the leg of the Eli yelled, "EW! Bad bullsquid!".

Our time
The driver smoked some nigger at the stake. This individual was stupid enough to dramatically shout "here", for which he paid through the scrap Freeman.
- Well, what a man you are! – said Barney. – Picked up and killed an innocent citizen. And he wanted to help us!
- I... that... thought it was Eli. – justified Gordon. – He's got a titanium skull...
Yeah, habits you don't change. – said the corporal. Good thing I prefer to be behind. – ambiguous he said.
- Come on! But how many grubs! – enthusiastically replied MPD, swallowing saliva.
Okay, it's settled. But where will go? Here a dead end! – said the former security guard.
- But this is the care of Freeman. He's in the suit -- said the corporal.
- Yes, as you can! – the scientist was in hysterics. – For beer – Freeman! For vodka – Freeman! For the women – Freeman! For a nuclear warhead – Freeman! The squad of soldiers – Freeman!!! In a radioactive puddle – Freeman!!! In the furnace – FREEMAN!!!!!
Meanwhile, the silent Engineer had already smoked a Negro and broke a brick wall with his bare hands in order to make the way further.

Interventionby I
Into the endless void of the Edge of the World flew to the island of life. If you look closer, you could see that it was an island of death, for it consisted entirely of the corpses of the creatures. The only living he was controller and Gargantua.
- So, listen to me private. – counseled-headed. – Due to the fact that the soldiers have ended, you assign a special rank of Lieutenant!
- URAAAAAA! – yelled Gargantua, whose name was Harry.
- To set aside the cries of joy! – ordered the controller, whose name was Ninyas. – Now we will have a funeral, because you Cremonese whole bunch.
- But, comrade General, this is the same as the grubs will be gone...
- So, don't get cremated! Immediately begin to Wake... pour.

Our time
Freeman angrily looked at the crowd of frightened Menchikov that the frightened was skulking in the corner.
Who!? – asked the scientist.
But no one answered him. Terrified, the mechanisms could not respond because of the acute fear and lack the vocal apparatus.
Who, I ask?! – roared Gordon.
Especially susceptible are Manchek somlel from this.
- WHO DARES?! – rage physics-cake was not the limit.
Finally the crowd sincopalnah mechanisms pushed the guilty kinsman forward.
- YOU!!! – Freeman's voice trembled in anger forcing mangaka too inanimate to tremble. - YOU! IT! Did?! I'M ASKING YOU! THE CATTLE YOU IRON!!!
Manchek frightened looked at the hand, the scientist that was holding the scraps of his beard.
- WHO ASKED YOU?! WHO ASKED YOU TO SHAVE ME?!
- Come on, Gordon. said Barney behind. – Think, bit of a trim beard. They have a program of Barber laid, they are not to blame, that should shave all the homeless people. Murza out where got more.
And the guard pointed to a bald cyborg-cat. He froze and silently kept in the clutches of scraps of white wool, only his left eye twitched. Freeman knowingly looked at him.

It's you to the pervoaprel prepared?)) I had thought of something humorous to write, but never did =(

And what do this passage? To rethink GAGE? Will have to reread, and then out of context it is difficult to catch. Hopefully, in the collection of combinations on a full version of the Krebs?))
However, a few comments/observations leave:

Freeman was dark. Freeman was wet. Freeman was stuffy. Freeman was eaten by tentacles.
Have fun :D

that the situation is permanently
Do not understand what is meant...

the shoulders were decorated with skulls vortigaunts, which
*of which

on the left hand he wore a huge bunch of scared to death barnacles
Yeah,this is Sheppard!

I invented the microwave, not you Magnusson!
RRT before Magnusson

Eli-Neanderthal cute.

In the furnace – FREEMAN!!!!!
:D

Interventionby I
This is something new!

Into the endless void of the Edge of the World flew to the island of life. If you look closer, you could see that it was an island of death.
Would sound better with the word but at the beginning of the second sentence, something like this:
Into the endless void of the Edge of the World flew to the island of life. But if you look closer, it becomes clear that in fact it was an island of death.

So, don't get cremated! Immediately begin to Wake... pour.
Black humor... Eli snuck up on me %D

the crowd of frightened Menchikov
Rather, pack.

Abrita Freeman - it's a fun idea :D
*there should be a Pichu with Shurik in H. E. V. e*

They have a program of Barber laid, they are not to blame, that should shave all the homeless people.
High technology Alliance ))

And what do this passage? To rethink GAGE?
Yeah, it is. I have other parodies there. The first version I decided to bury.

that the situation is permanently
Do not understand what is meant...
It's a play on words, implying the hopelessness.

Interventionby I
This is something new!
First wrote the Interlude, but then I thought This is Xen! What the hell Lydia! Vertigone the same!)))

PPA, for the comments.