Jokes about Skyrim 2.0 (The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim)
The last theme exhausted, so created a new one. What to say write here your anecdotes, jokes, interesting stories, share screenshots.and here are my
Rob I like that some of manazin, and cardio such
Any goods, and they can be yours
I - gyyyy, but they are already my
I ripped half of Skyrim, some clothes stolen and sold...not shaking her stealth. From the word at all
When that I was an adventurer, and then I got shot in the knee. said the guard, not looking at arrow in the head, fired at him Dovalina who is already in****smiling to hear about shot in the knees from each guard
Buta Sanhus -Well
, how is your wife? Zaliter asked.
“Lying in bed with laryngitis,†Harlit replied.
"Is that Argonian bastard back in town?"
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-Some dots are constantly flickering before my eyes.
-What about a healer?
- No, just stains.
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A huge northerner named Julgen was attacked by a gang of thieves. He fiercely resisted, but in the end was beaten almost to the point of unconsciousness. Having searched his pockets, the thieves found only three gold pieces on him.
“Are you saying you fought us like a madman over three lousy gold coins?†One of the thieves asked mockingly.
“No,†Julgen replied, “I was afraid that you would take those four hundred gold pieces that were hidden in my boot.
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During the Concrete War on Craighold Island, the Bretons were under siege for several days. After the liberation of the island, Lord Bridwell discovered that under the ruins of the castle in the dark, a crowd of survivors was hiding. It was not easy to free them, as part of the roof collapsed, thus trapping them. Bridwell stuck his head through the newly opened crack and shouted to the Bretons below,
“Is anyone preparing to be a mother?
“Difficult to say, your lordship,†the young woman replied. “We've only been sitting down here for a few days.
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The old Breton met with his peer at a guild meeting.
“Harriston, old man, I wanted to express my regrets to you. I heard you buried your wife last week.
"I had to, old man," Harriston replied. - She died, you know.
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Why was Sentinel's army so useless during the War of Concrete?
Their guns were too heavy, so all three garbage barges sank.
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What military maneuver is the first thing a Sentinel rookie private learns?
Retreat.
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What is the name of the thinnest book in the world?
Redguard Heroes of the Beton War.
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One dark elf killed his wife by finding her making love to another man. When the magistrate asked him why he killed a woman, instead of killing her lover, he replied:
“I reasoned that it is better to kill one woman than different men every week.
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Dark Elf was shown Daggerfall. When she was shown the magnificent Daggerfall Castle, she smiled affectionately at her guide and whispered,
“He reminds me of sex.
“Strange,†her guide said. "Why does our Daggerfall Castle remind you of sex?"
“Everything reminds me of him,†she sighed.
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Yelita told Watissa that she was having dinner with a dark elf named Morlett tonight.
“I heard he’s just some kind of animal,†Vatisa said. “He will immediately rip your dress to shreds right on top of you.
“Thank you for saying that,†Yelita replied. - I will certainly wear an old dress.
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How do sailors in the Khajiit Navy quit?
With a hammer and pliers.
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“This garden brings me sentimental memories,†said Khajiit Mojhad to his friend Hasillid. - Under this, for example, a tree, I made love for the first time. But under this tree her mother stood and watched us.
“Was she watching you when you made love to her daughter?†Hasillid asked, clearly impressed. - And she didn't say anything?
- Meow.
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What would you call a wood elf who doesn't lie, cheat, or steal?
Dead wood elf.