The problem with courting (Again) (Mount & Blade)

At tournaments, you can start courtship and against her father's will, waiting until the bride will enter the tournament, then say that you like her, if such a response did not appear win the tournament and dedicate the victory to the bride, after the menu of the city there should be a new option, something like to go on a secret date with... more all sorts of ways to improve the relationship offer to marry, some will not convince to marry without the will of the father or brother.

Lightning gamer
it usually tells the king about your Princess, apparently again something messed up with the lines and they moved

Greetings, I must say that I recently started playing Mount & Blade and don't know much about the subject of courtship, etc., but I would like to clarify, and wouldn't it be easier to set up their own state?
once I started playing with the Kingdom of Nord and it was quite difficult because doing their job, I really didn't get anything and be friends with enemies, that's the paradox (~Tu-Dong-tzz!) and the way it should be???