Jokes Mass Effect (Mass Effect 3)
At the bar, a conversation between a Turian:- Represent, I caught house wife with some krogan!
- What did you say to him?
- What could I say?! I'm in school kaganskiy not taught...
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A conversation between two asari of DeSantis:
Hey! What a cool armor for you!
- Represent, I have underneath no!
- Don't worry, grow up!
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From the report of agent Cerberus, meet Jack:
She sprayed in the face with tear gas canister. And now she's raping me, and she cries and cries...
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Sitting in a bar Krogan, Turanec and People started talking about their wives:
- My Serena said Turanec, slender, delicate,
with huge wet eyes and long arms.
And my cunning, sly, but quick and agile, one stroke of the thresher knocks.
- I'll tell you, ' muttered the man - my looks like a man.
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Prematurely ended a chess match between Grunta and Mordin. On the 20th minute of the game the victory was awarded
Grunt as Mordina was a broken arm.
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(Romantic note with Tali ME2 and ME3)
Tali confronts Shepard. In the heat of the fight, she cries out:
- Yes I am! Yes I am!... Yes I slept with your best friend, Garrus!
Shepard, taken aback:
- And I!... And I!... And I, too!!!
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Announcement at the entrance to the poor quarter quarter on Omega:
Do not pick up the crumbs - NOT BESITE Vorka!!!
PS: I tried to write funny jokes, if you liked thank you :-)
Please offer your anecdotes or jokes on the theme of the Mass Effect universe.
Commander Shepard is so severe that МЕ1 killed Molotilov packs, and in ME2 killed one and for the sake of medals.
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Commander Shepard is so severe that Sleep with your party members just for the sake of medals.
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Commander Shepard is so severe, that all his enemies killing themselves because they can't be killed.
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Commander Shepard is so severe that it bypasses Russian Captains, so that their background does not look harsh.
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Commander Shepard is so severe that he died to lure the Reapers to his Galaxy.
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Commander Shepard is so severe, that standing in front of a choice of endings ME3 it did not Express the Catalyst for everything that thinks about the ending of ME3.
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Commander Shepard is so severe, that during the game, he only once ate in ME2 and always drinking.
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Commander Shepard is so severe that becoming a blue he was an asset and expressed their active position to the creators of the M3
Dr. Reaper
Commander Shepard is so severe, that never goes to the toilet!(well, only sometimes in his cabin watching as the water in the bowl to rinse)
Shepard is so steep that swing a Ghost to commit suicide!
Shepard is so cool that you can beat in the face of reporters!
- Shepard, you're cool? The reporter asked.
Shepard smiled and said nothing.
Lair Of The Grey Mediator. Liara. Talking with the agent.
- Once again hitting on my man you'll end up!
Another news outlet.
- Shepard Is Cool!!!
Shepard is so cool, he's with a herd of Abildaev that even the weapon can't keep 100500 issued a very dangerous enemies.
Shepard is so steep that when the earth was attacked by the reapers, he walked on the roof of the house as if to walk out.
Shepard is so steep that it did gay and he POH.
Shepard is so steep that only he saw the muzzle boats.
Shepard is so cool, he can swing the main boss to death.
Shepard is so cool, before the beginning of his adventures he can change the face.
Shepard is so steep that he what is the trash from Cerberus made with 3 shots cruiser.
Shepard is so cool that even when he dies, he can press the buttons to reappear.
Shepard is so cool, he sees himself from behind during the fight, but in the dialogues his eyes perenestis generally somewhere to the side (for the best view possible)
Shepard is so steep that when it hits the Reaper, he wanted to go to the goal.
And finally Shepard is so steep that it is for a 3 piece was trying to save the galaxy, and the tip was bent, but he still POH.
Shepard. -Boats, boats.
Liara. - Shepard Wake up.
Shepard. -PFCs. Well at least stamps don't collect!!! Need to talk to Miranda about Lazarus!!!
Gryunt and Rex in the cabin, Shepard.
Rex. And where's the barbecue?
Gryunt. - Forgot to tell you, you net by accident is not taken?
Shepard. Yes fish from the aquarium NARS and teleport. Pleasant say so!
Shepard goes down the Elevator to the residential deck and shouts.
- Who else, just play chess!!!
Lord: we have no beginning we have no end.
Shepard: you Have no end? *trollface*
Lord: FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (and zastraivaya)
And who knows, the reapers created the boee ancient race of machines, called nokia, now they are rare and they serve the people, they are stronger than diamond, and the energy they have not dried up (and this is immortal). Only Nokia can defeat the reapers, the real catalyst for the horn this is Nokia.
Shepard in Purgatory.
- More,more, after the third if again Wake up, watering will regardless of the muzzle!!!
Learning means!
Dr. Chekwas drunk wanders to the proteanina into the cabin.
- We can fix it!!!
Javik picked up obliviously Canvas, blinked its four eyes and fainted!
AVIC and shepherd.
- Look captain, I not only the memories cut, but also from drinking other Skoch too!!!
Shepard.
- Yes, it was necessary not to Wake you!
On the personal terminal received a letter from Eva krogans.
- Shepard, you may not remember me, but I made you an offer in Mass Effect 2. Be sure to visit the Turk, and that can add up!!!
Shepard looked around and kept writing.