Express your opinion
I decided to portray something, but I don't know whether to continue or not. Please rate.With a description of faces, I am not good, I immediately say)
I
Darkness. Dirt. And silence. Some kind of stirring began in the bushes, but so weak that it was simply impossible to hear it. In the distance, something began to flicker.
- Shh .. - there was a whisper from the darkness: a shimmer illuminated the bushes with dim light, five people became visible, their faces were smeared with black paint, rifles were visible from their backs ...
II
- It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no millionaire's son ... - humming a song, walking along the runway, a guy of about twenty-five with fair hair, light eyes, either round or oval face, pretty healthy. He was wearing an olive green uniform for the US military. In his hands was an M16 with a safety catch. He looked at his watch: it bore the numbers 23.50.
Darkness reigned all around, scattered in places by spotlights and lanterns. On either side of the runway there were a couple of H-34 helicopters, in the direction of which our guy was walking. Behind him (in the north) could be seen a dilapidated two-story building and a dozen dark green tents. Not far from them, on the left, there were 2 Gun Trucks based on the M54 car. Around the runway there was a dense and impenetrable jungle, only on the southeast side there was a small clearing, towering over the runway, with a couple of craters and fallen trees. The sky turned out to be extremely clear (until today there was a downpour for two weeks in a row, from which it was rather dirty on the strip), the stars shone brightly, resembling a garland. Everything was filled with tranquility, I could not even believe that there was a war going on ...
A dark-skinned guy, also about twenty-five, with black hair, with a "playground" haircut, came out from behind the helicopter. He had dark eyes, a wide nose and lips, and in general he was no different from a typical guy of African American appearance. A flare gun will be plugged behind his back.
- Hey Joe! - exclaimed a dark-skinned guy, - come here, I found a present here.
- Yes, I'm going to you, Arnie (1). I was sure that you would not leave me without a surprise.
Joe went to the helicopter and Arnie, turning around, took out from under the seat a block of Marlboro cigarettes and several Zippo lighters.
“Not bad, not bad,†Joe said with pleasure, putting the lighter in his left chest pocket and several packs of cigarettes in the empty pockets.
“I’ll probably take the whole block,†Arnie laughed.
- Just do not forget to share with the guys, we are not alone here pulling the strap.
- You are offended. - smiled Arnitan, took a block of cigarettes, put the lighters on top and went towards the barracks.
“Oh, and a smart guy. Everywhere will be in time, "- chuckled to himself Joe and turned to the helicopter. He always felt a craving for flying technology, but he was not destined to become a pilot, in life it did not work out. Joe went to the glass, looked at the dashboard and thought that he would regret once again that he had missed his chance. Thoughts flew into my head, I remembered the past, and suddenly there was a loud rustle from behind, and the helicopter cabin was lit up with a bright light.
- Your mother! Arnie yelled.
Joe turned sharply and reflexively removed the safety catch. But there was no need for that. It was just that a flare gun fell out from Arnie's belt and shot into the sky from hitting the ground.
- What are you doing?! What the hell did you take him with you at all ?! - Joe exclaimed alarmed and loudly.
- Yes, how I felt that it was not necessary, and then I thought - you never know what ... - Arnie began to laugh slowly, but his laugh was so infectious that soon the streak was heard with loud laughter of both, despite the fact that there was nothing funny, even on the contrary: now they will have to report what they two did there, and most likely, punishment cannot be avoided, but it was so sweet to laugh because of nervousness. In the distance, dogs were already barking, and several figures were approaching the helicopter.
Suddenly Arnie's laughter stopped abruptly. After a moment, Joe felt a sharp pain in his chest and fell, but did not faint. His eyes dimmed slightly, he turned his head towards his friend ... Arnie stood with a slightly open mouth, his eyes froze at one point, in the block of cigarettes, on the right, a black, neat hole was gaping, his shirt began to turn red, Arnie fell to the ground, dropping his cigarettes , the packs scattered, several of them were punctured and tobacco poured out of the hole, the lighters hit, opened and a slight smell of gasoline for lighters appeared. Arnie's head hit the asphalt and turned to Joe, his eyes were empty and lifeless, they stared at one point. Joe saw death more than once, but he had never seen it in the eyes of his best friend, a terrible chill ran through his body ...
III
“Nasty alarm sound… how nasty it is…â€
After the squeak came the sound of the radio: “Good morning, America! It's 6am in Los Angeles! " Then there was a lot of chatter, which I didn’t want to listen to, but I had to get up.
I look forward to assessing :) The
footnote was not copied. Here it is:
1) His name is not Arnold, as you thought, but in African Arnitan.
Egor_Pskov, sorry, removed.
Horseman of the Apocalypse, just as I can call you the same shit, cattle and whatever. Need more reasoned, thinner ...
Comatose, if you are such a great connoisseur of art, then explain to me, you fool, what is wrong.
Growl
Here is this piece:
I
Darkness. Dirt. And silence. Some kind of stirring began in the bushes, but it was so weak that it was simply impossible to hear it. In the distance, something began to flicker.
- Shh .. - there was a whisper from the darkness: shimmer illuminated the bushes with dim light, five people became visible, their faces were smeared with black paint, rifles were visible from behind their backs ...
II
- It ain't me, it ain 't me, I ain't no millionaire's son ... - humming a song, walking along the runway, a guy of about twenty-five with fair hair, light eyes, either round or oval face, quite healthy. He was wearing an olive green uniform for the US military. In his hands was an M16 with a safety catch. He looked at his watch: the numbers 23.50 were visible on it.
Darkness reigned all around, scattered in places by spotlights and lanterns. On either side of the runway there were a couple of H-34 helicopters, in the direction of which our guy was walking. Behind him (in the north) could be seen a dilapidated two-story building and a dozen dark green tents. Not far from them, on the left, there were 2 Gun Trucks based on the M54 car. Around the runway there was a dense and impenetrable jungle, only on the southeast side there was a small clearing, towering over the runway, with a couple of craters and fallen trees. The sky turned out to be extremely clear (until today there was a downpour for two weeks in a row, from which it was rather dirty on the strip), the stars shone brightly, resembling a garland. Everything was filled with tranquility, I could not even believe that there was a war going on ...
A dark-skinned guy, also about twenty-five, with black hair, with a "playground" haircut, came out from behind the helicopter. He had dark eyes, a wide nose and lips, and in general he was no different from a typical guy of African American appearance. A flare gun will be plugged behind his back.
- Hey Joe! - exclaimed a dark-skinned guy, - come here, I found a present here.
- Yes, I'm going to you, Arnie (1). I was sure that you would not leave me without a surprise.
Joe went to the helicopter and Arnie, turning around, took out from under the seat a block of Marlboro cigarettes and several Zippo lighters.
“Not bad, not bad,†Joe said with pleasure, putting the lighter in his left chest pocket and several packs of cigarettes in the empty pockets.
“I’ll probably take the whole block,†Arnie laughed.
- Just do not forget to share with the guys, we are not alone here pulling the strap.
- You are offended. - smiled Arnitan, took a block of cigarettes, put the lighters on top and went towards the barracks.
“Oh, and a smart guy. Everywhere will be in time, "- chuckled to himself Joe and turned to the helicopter. He always felt a craving for flying technology, but he was not destined to become a pilot, in life it did not work out. Joe went to the glass, looked at the dashboard and thought that he would regret once again that he had missed his chance. Thoughts flew into my head, I remembered the past, and suddenly there was a loud rustle from behind, and the helicopter cabin was lit up with a bright light.
- Your mother! Arnie yelled.
Joe turned sharply and reflexively removed the safety catch. But there was no need for that. It was just that a flare gun fell out from Arnie's belt and shot into the sky from hitting the ground.
- What are you doing?! What the hell did you take him with you at all ?! - Joe exclaimed alarmed and loudly.
- Yes, how I felt that it was not necessary, and then I thought - you never know what ... - Arnie began to laugh slowly, but his laugh was so infectious that soon the streak was heard with loud laughter of both, despite the fact that there was nothing funny, even on the contrary: now they will have to report what they two did there, and most likely, punishment cannot be avoided, but it was so sweet to laugh because of nervousness. In the distance, dogs were already barking, and several figures were approaching the helicopter.
Suddenly Arnie's laughter stopped abruptly. After a moment, Joe felt a sharp pain in his chest and fell, but did not faint. His eyes dimmed slightly, he turned his head towards his friend ... Arnie stood with a slightly open mouth, his eyes froze at one point, in the block of cigarettes, on the right, a black, neat hole was gaping, his shirt began to turn red, Arnie fell to the ground, dropping his cigarettes , the packs scattered, several of them were punctured and tobacco poured out of the hole, the lighters hit, opened and a slight smell of gasoline for lighters appeared. Arnie's head hit the asphalt and turned to Joe, his eyes were empty and lifeless, they stared at one point. Joe saw death more than once, but he had never seen it in the eyes of his best friend, a terrible chill ran through his body ...
III
“Nasty alarm sound… how nasty it is…â€
After the squeak came the sound of the radio: “Good morning, America! It's 6am in Los Angeles! " Then there was a lot of chatter, which I didn’t want to listen to, but I had to get up.
It looks especially disgusting. Look for errors on the site of shit literators.
Ok, thanks)
I will no longer take up my free time with this activity. And that took it into my head on the weekend) I
forgot to ask, what kind of sites are that? It's even interesting.
and what kind of sites is that? It's even interesting.
Well googled ... there are a bunch of sites, all sorts of independent communities, lyalyalya. I even once found such.
Arnie didn't scream, but screamed, you know? The text has many such hidden errors that will not allow the reader to dive into the text.
Everything is not so ... do not torment yourself and those around you with this "creative" ... But if you really really want to, then start with something small in volume ... try to squeeze the thought (if any) into 2-3 interesting suggestions ... and only then roll such footcloths ... (=
Psychodolb, so I didn't even intentionally, as it happened itself) I decided to print something and typed. I decided to ask what it is))
I am looking for works by Alexander Venzikovsky (a series of books - Absolute). If anyone has it, discard the link.