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LZHCH 15.06.20 04:34 pm

Jokes Mass Effect (Mass Effect 3)

At the bar, a conversation between a Turian:
- Represent, I caught house wife with some krogan!
- What did you say to him?
- What could I say?! I'm in school kaganskiy not taught...

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A conversation between two asari of DeSantis:
Hey! What a cool armor for you!
- Represent, I have underneath no!
- Don't worry, grow up!

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From the report of agent Cerberus, meet Jack:
She sprayed in the face with tear gas canister. And now she's raping me, and she cries and cries...

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Sitting in a bar Krogan, Turanec and People started talking about their wives:
- My Serena said Turanec, slender, delicate,
with huge wet eyes and long arms.
And my cunning, sly, but quick and agile, one stroke of the thresher knocks.
- I'll tell you, ' muttered the man - my looks like a man.

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Prematurely ended a chess match between Grunta and Mordin. On the 20th minute of the game the victory was awarded
Grunt as Mordina was a broken arm.

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(Romantic note with Tali ME2 and ME3)
Tali confronts Shepard. In the heat of the fight, she cries out:
- Yes I am! Yes I am!... Yes I slept with your best friend, Garrus!
Shepard, taken aback:
- And I!... And I!... And I, too!!!

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Announcement at the entrance to the poor quarter quarter on Omega:
Do not pick up the crumbs - NOT BESITE Vorka!!!

PS: I tried to write funny jokes, if you liked thank you :-)
Please offer your anecdotes or jokes on the theme of the Mass Effect universe.
44 Comments
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MihaNick94 15.06.20

Shepard to go to the toilet on the ship,don't need the toilet,it just opens a window on the ship and shit to space!

S
Svetloyar 15.06.20

Avec: People good-for-nothing race, which govern the instincts.
Shepard: I will prove that it is not so!
Jack: [runs into the room] Shepard, your mother, last time you were assaulted, but never raped me! What the fuck is that?! [notice proteanina] Hey, what the hell is that?!
Avik: yeah, strong argument.
---
Javik: Oh, Azari has mastered writing. Oh, the salarians has ceased to eat flies. Oh, people still came out of the caves...
Shepard: Oh, proteine the same ol***is the reapers.
---
Shepard sits on the extranet.
Secretary in horror: Oh, lost your beloved hamster!
Voice from computer: How to find a missing hamster by....

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LZHCH 15.06.20

Tenor: Hello! I am an expert on communication, I will help you to sort and filter data.
Shepard: you stand here and tell me about new messages.

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One Joker tried to make love to SUZY, but he realized two things:
1. With a synthetic it can be done.
2. The pelvis can not be restored.

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When Shepard turned 18 he enlisted in the army.
When Shepard turned a little over 30, he died for the sake of the Galaxy.
Conclusion: the army kills.

S
Siborgiy23 15.06.20

On the first day God created the reapers, on the second day God oherel from the reapers.

[Mission for loyalty Tain]
Kolyat: I'll kill him! Kill!
Shepard: No, not kill.
*Shepard shoots at the hostage*
Kolat: Your mother!
Shepard: Hostages work if someone cares their lives.
The tain: an Interesting solution.
COP: Okay, but we arrest Kolata.
*Shepard shoots at cops*
Shepard: I could be arrested if I wasn't a Spectrum.
Thane: Interesting post.
Kolat: what the hell is going on here!
*Shepard shoots at Kolata*
Shepard: Never yell at the Spectrum.
The tain: ...
Shepard: Well, your son is not a killer. The tain: ...Interesting solution.
Shepard: come on, Miranda asked me to help with her sister.
*Shepard loads the gun*
The tain: ...an Interesting life.