Jokes on the theme of LOTR (The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-earth)
Do not hesitate.Just on the forum became boring, so I decided to dilute ;) the atmosphere.So, anecdote by number I:
It was back when Sauron was just Melkor's servant.
He and Juan at the entrance to Melkor Castle.
Juan took the guise of a man's friend dog.
Sauron is a human enemy wolf.
But Juan Sauron won and fucked in the bushes...
Sauron wildly cried, turned into a black crow and soared into the sky.
There he was waiting for a grinning Thorondor.
(For those who don't know:
Thorondor, presumably the king of the giant eagles at the time,
as during the Lord's time the king was Gwaichor-son of Torondor, or something like that).
Anecdote number II:
Night.Camp Brotherhood.Everyone sleeps.
-Legolas, come on, but?
Legolas:
What's going on?
But we're quiet.
No, I don't think so.
-Please, well Legolas.
No, I don't think so.
"Come on," isn't it?
"Come on, nasty...
Choir:
-And Elberet Giltoniel,
Sylivren penna miriel...
Come on, San! The theme of anecdotes, so I write them! Why do I have to write everything in one line?!)
Once Saruman announced that he buys gold rings - well, and the Hobbits climbed to him...
Here, it would seem, Gendalf and Saruman - decent pensioners, and what they do!
It's not going to go away! Gandalf exclaimed. "I serve the Secret Flame and own the Anor Fire!... - he wanted to add something else, but suddenly he slammed to the floor.
"Barlog go to the brains of powders! - grumbled Saruman, putting the crowbar aside.
Saruman approaches Sauron with a cry:
"Oh, Lord, what am I going to do!!! I lost my whiteness!!! Help me!
-Hmm," Sauron thought for a second, and smirked miserably, "Tide" or boiling?
The saying of the Nazgulov:
"You don't know the ford, don't bang on for Frodo!"
Nazgul is an advanced version of the dog in the hay: he does not live and does not allow others to live.
- After the Eagles' attack for Frodo and the Ring to Orodrain broke only three. Kudos to the invincible Air Force of Middle-earth!
Once Gandalf once brought all the nazguls at zaverti, had Sauron riders of the apocalypse to recruit.
In ancient times, one evil wizard gave the nine powerful people rings to forever bind them to themselves, so that they would become one with him, that they lived long and, if possible, happily and died in one day. And since then it has become customary to exchange rings at the wedding...
The diary of Aragorn.
Day 1:
The orcs knocked us out of the woods.
Day 2:
We knocked the orcs out of the woods.
Day 3:
They came and kicked everyone out of the woods.
Aragorn is on the path of the dead. There is darkness, eerie, darkness... Suddenly, out of the darkness, two bright eyes stared at him...
"Gollum," Aragorn thought.
"You're Gormum," the Prince of the Dead thought.
Tu-tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
"It's the Gondor horn," Legolas yelled.
"You've muttered a wit and muttered aragorn and wisely derailed.
What's the cloud?
Legolas, in a tense voice:
"It's a crow pack!
Aragorn:
"Everyone's in hiding! They're going to ruin all our clothes!!!
Aragorn:
"We are not locals, but call me a Wanderer. We hunt orcs here...
Éomer:
Pre-submit documents, hunting ticket and license!