Unreal creativity. (Unreal)

People, and somebody does something(scarlet), in the universe? Can adelisa, if someone card drawing, just sample Wallpapers or something?
I wrote the beginning of Aquila.


Please check out, give constructive criticism...


Unreality.
1.Vortex Rikers
Wildly headache - as if it was hit with something very heavy. Hands and feet badly obeyed, coordination of movements was broken. Very interesting from the outside. Want to reach out to the left, and it instead rises.
Not counting the sounds of some birds was very quiet. Birds?! But there could be no birds. I...
Was drifting memories: the streets of night city, a spaceport, my naive attempts to get away from the chase...
Them will not go away unless they themselves don't want to. And then gray inconspicuous clothing, a dozen such as I, a military ship carrying prisoners, and radioactive mines at the end. Mines where I was supposed to get as a criminal, but for some reason were not included. Mines where you can live for two years max - then you just fall apart because of the radiation. This is a very good idea. Criminals need to be put somewhere, ore someone had to mine. Certain death.
I stood up, and looked around. The hull of the ship had the form of the letter P. On both sides of the camera with the prisoners. Across the Elevator to other levels: technical, medical. We were brought here by another corridor, but the device of these ships is like. If you know one, you know the other.
Okay, enough of the lyrics need to get out!
Laser grids that separates my camera from the rest of the ship was not. In their place, stuck some wires showered sparks. Apparently our ship was in serious trouble. Out of camera(just a hole in the wall), I saw even more devastation. Everywhere were scattered pieces of skin, half of the information screens were not working, the power cables were taken out of fasteners.
Stepping forward, I barely kept my balance. Need a first aid kit and quickly.
Strange but me in the compartment was empty. Neither living nor dead. Did everyone survive? And left without me?
Walking through the adjacent chambers and not finding anything, went to the Elevator to the second level.
Elevator, strangely enough worked. Right at the exit lay a small box. Turning it I found that this is quite a standard PDA. That's good luck! PDA have long turned to the senior assistant to the person. Without him the modern world was very uncomfortable. And most importantly in the distant past were initial problems of early devices: low performance, small memory footprint, a short time battery life. Modern devices had a memory capacity of tens of Terabytes, and the battery life was up to a few weeks. In addition they were very versatile in the choice of power source: almost all forms of electromagnetic energy they can be powered. In General an absolutely necessary thing. Such a thing was given to me for nothing given my current situation.
Running a self test(all of a sudden any bugs or broken in the accident) I went through the second level. One grating from the ventilation system was not enough, she was lying down. Assessing the passage I crawled. The entire shaft was shrouded in smoke – apparently cover and ventilation. It was uncomfortable to crawl partially prevented the smoke , partially the small size of the mine at which I was crawling. A turn , another turn. Away flashed someone's figure or it seemed to me? No thought, it's just steam from the crumpled pipe.
I fell out unexpectedly. This is the medical lab. Well look for medications. The laboratory was a – probably the main blow fell on the nose or on the other side. However, the drug has not been here. Someone before me took them. And apparently they took a large group of people – one to carry them all just not able to do. Well look for those who also survived like me.
Passing the door leading to the bridge I saw broken glass in the Cabinet with the medications. So-so.
But on the bridge was much more interesting. I visited a couple of times in these areas and know that they are typically a focus of modern technology. But that is so! Oh this is a difficult ship, uneasy. Simple prison, the carrier cannot be absolutely equipped. They were usually converted from old ships and, accordingly, nothing special with him, it was impossible to do. Here could be seen a thorough job. However, the military always do everything thoroughly.
Half of the screens were broken. The second was some writing. Coming closer, I tried to read them.
"..... refused main engines. After a few minutes the stability of hyperfields will fall. We come out of jump in the system 831. Will try to correct course....."
"..... navigation calculations showed that we can land a spacecraft on the planet na Pali....."
So I first learned the name of the planet na Pali. I didn't know how crucial the planet . All star atlases almost nothing about it is not written. There is no intelligent life – this is the verdict of the Space Agency. Now I understand why... At that moment I wanted only one thing – to survive.
To get out, it's time to get out, insisted to the subconscious.
After passing the bridge I climbed into yet another pipe. Crawling down to the end of it I went into compressor and a huge fan was stopped. Soon there will be nothing to breathe. In the end I could see a large hangar door. Coming closer I pressed the open button. The door went up. Waiting when it will open fully I stepped inside. It was a small room. On the opposite side was the same door. But even for her there were voices!
- Well, what now ... Oh, what the heck is this?! No !!!
Came a wild scream, then he heard the sound of the shot. Once, twice ...
Thoughts darted feverishly: what was it? People can't scream.