Jokes (STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl)
A rookie asks a veteran.- Hey uncle, where can I sleep here, I'm afraid of dogs.
- There is a two-story house a kilometer from here, there are no dogs there.
Why aren't there dogs?
-Elementary stalker! They are afraid of bloodsuckers!
if you met a detachment of stoned Dolgovites in exoskeletons not far from the bar, then this is:
1. a detachment of freedom scouts with the words - shh, geyy don’t burn - goes towards the bar
2. at the base of freedom there is again a fire and the wind blows towards Rostock
In short, I don’t know, maybe the button accordion:
Sidorovich stands at the airport and honks, then Tagged in a taxi drives up and says
-Hey Sidorovich where are you going?
- To the other part of the city - get in
, I'll give you a lift - Sidorovich cautiously got into the car
. Marked drives a red traffic light under 120: he goes straight. Red traffic light: goes straight - Sidorovich squeezes himself into a chair - Marked Marked we won't have time to drive.
- Do not ssy Sidor right now we will arrive
Red traffic light: Marked drives. The green traffic light Marked sharply slows down so that Sidorovich almost flew out through the windshield and says - Come on, let's go green
- I won’t go suddenly there is the same special as I’m driving ...
Or
two stalkers are walking across the Zone, suddenly a third flies out of the bushes towards them with a steering wheel from a Kamaz:
- Hello to the Warehouses?
- Yes, to the Warehouses
- Get in a ride
- Why are you a fool, you only have one steering wheel The third
stalker takes out the barrel and points it at the stalkers
: you can’t let you go through them, and I’ll meet you there through the field, well, the stalkers agreed and think they finally got rid of this moron. A debtor meets them at the post and asks: - Have you seen a stalker with a steering wheel here? - From KAMAZ? - Yes, from the KAMAZ, where did he go?
- Through the field he promised to pick us up on the other side.
Dolgovets takes out the steering wheel from a motorcycle from behind:
- Quickly sit down to catch him, let's go
- Bro, why are you a moron too?
Dolgovets takes out a pistol:
- Quickly sat down, I said!
... One stalker runs across the field from behind, the second one is in a cradle, the debtor turns around and says to the one in the "cradle":
- Why are you on straight legs? You are in the cradle!!! Sit down quickly.
Well, the stalker crouched down, runs in single file, all sorts of branches fall into his face, he looks offendedly at his comrade:
- It would be better if we drove through the field in a Kamaz ...
One stalker in a bar told people the secret of Dirol Mega Mystery. The next day he disappeared without a trace.
I play Clear Sky, version 1.5.00 is the most problematic, there have already been about 10 sorties. For the first time at Agroprom, I go with the debtors - we hear a rustle. Dolgovets: "Really again?!" Departure to the desktop.
There is a stalker who didn't shit for two days.
then I saw a toilet and shouted:
-Hurrah!
and the controller from the bushes says:
-It will be funny when he sits on a cactus.
A conversation between two stalkers at the fire:
- I'll tell you what about the zone: nonsense, all this about radiation, nonsense! I've been hanging around here for 2 or 3 years, getting swag, and shit didn't happen to me.
Second stalker: You definitely noticed that everything is in order, although the scales have been itching more and more lately!
_______________
It means that the stalker climbed a tree, took the swag from the stash. Suddenly he sees - someone's ugly leg hangs from a branch. The stalker took out a valyn, took aim at a stranger and scaredly threatens: tell me who you are, otherwise I will feed you with lead! The stranger didn't say anything. Then the stalker grabbed this creature for something dangling between his legs, squeezed it not hard and said: tell me, bitch, who is this, otherwise I’ll shoot the fuck! The stranger is silent. Well, the stalker got really angry and squeezed so hard, it started to flow down his arm and said: tell me who you are, or I’ll tear everything off for you!
Suddenly, the stalker heard an exhausted voice: k-to-control-ler I-ah-ah! Surprised Stalker: Yes ?, why were you silent until the last ?. Controller: Well, s-so I'm dumb!
Memories of a bloodsucker: Good day - A pseudo-giant broke into the village, tried to break into our basement, got stuck in the passage - f..ali with the whole flock. A wonderful day - a poltergeist flew into the village, materialized unsuccessfully and got stuck in the wall with his ass out - f...ali with the whole flock. Rainy day - Damn, how could I get stuck in that window ...