Funny stories
In General I suggest to write here the story of the very stupid thing you did as a bunch,stoned,both(underline)So I remember when swells bought champagne and I thought that it would run quickly up the stairs into parade to run...well, you perdstavlyaet this picture, the crowd buhih runs up the stairs screaming and champagne over my head:)))) in General it should be seen:)
The husband returned from the bath, buhusi dyminu. falls in the hallway, goes into the portal.
His wife carefully on the bed moved, began to undress. Got to his underpants and then watching the forgotten on on the condom.
Well, I think a reptile , so you and your friends in steam!!! took it off and neatly his ass stuffed.
In the morning the man wakes up - waddles to the bathroom. In a few moments the bullet and into the tub. an hour and a half rubs foam washed like yesterday in the bath was not
comes gloomy to sit on the sofa, looks at the TV.
the wife sits down next to him and that, as a warm up ?
-Friends may call grab a beer, sober together?
husband
I HAVE NO MORE FRIENDS
Squeezed out all the juice
In the fair booth. A strong man comes out, takes a lemon and squeezes a glass of juice out of it with one hand. Then he looks around the audience and asks:
- Well, is anyone from the audience ready to repeat the number?
A frail peasant comes out, takes an already squeezed lemon and squeezes two more glasses of juice out of it.
Strong man in surprise:
- Who are you?! Where?!
- I? I'm from the tax inspectorate...
Thomas is not a believer A
friend just came to our office. He is dressed in a black jacket, the back and shoulder part of which is picturesquely smeared with something white - either with whitewash, or with lime. Leaned, apparently, somewhere unsuccessfully.
- Oleg, your whole back is white!
- Get away from me already! Everyone seems to have agreed... Is it really difficult to come up with a more creative April Fool's prank?!
I had to take him to the mirror...
Well, this joker Holmes
Watson says to Holmes:
- Holmes, have you seen our beloved Mrs. Hudson?
- Go up to the attic, doctor, she hanged herself ...
Watson runs into the attic in a panic and sees that there is no one there, having calmed down he goes down.
Holmes, but she's not there.
Since April 1, doctor! She hangs in the basement.
Drank a gift
One friend asks another:
- Why are you so sad.
- Yes, my husband gave perfume on the eighth of March. And in the evening, even though I asked him, I still drank.
- But on a holiday, you can drink.
- He drank perfume.
What a lovely gift
Vovochka gave his grandmother on March 8 a postcard made by him in kindergarten with an application. Grandmother very skillfully depicts delight:
- But who did this?
- I!
- Yes, what a charm! What a beauty!
Vovochka (proudly):
- And you thought I'd give you some x * yn for the holiday?!
What kind of stories do not happen to us when we are having fun. But how many impressions.
I work for a company that works as a supplier of "everything they ask" for a number of large factories. One of them burned out. From the format "You must have a higher education." So we brought them trolleys for unwinding PVC tape. This is the one that fastens products such as tiles, etc. For a week they whine to me that the trolley on which the reel stands is very hard to spin and it is impossible to work on it. I already thought about marriage and sending it back, but the cost of transportation stopped me. The point is this. Three engineers struggled to solve the problem. And they changed the clamping force of the bearings and the angle of the coil, but all in vain. It still doesn't unwind. A week later, it turned out that the trolley has a braking system so that the coil does not twist by inertia beyond what is necessary. Those three morons didn't think of putting the reel on the wrong side. The problem was discovered by a simple loader. Damn, three engineers with higher engineering education. anekdotov.net
SECRET DREAMS OF GAVRILA FROM PETERSBURG.
I dreamed of having Gavril's villa,
With her - a swimming pool, a golden "passage".
And so that a hundred pretty girls
Gavrila would do a massage...http://erotic-massage-piter.com
There is a conjecture that under the guise of Gerard Depardieu, Elena Baturina returned to Russia...
When Gerard Depardieu received a utility bill in Saransk, he again took French citizenship.
A woman with a child comes to the doctor. The doctor examined the child and asks: - Is he breast-fed or formula-fed? - On the chest! - replies the woman. Doctor: - Undress.....Take off your bra....! The doctor crumples boobs for a long time and gives out: - Hmm .... so you don’t have milk! No wonder the baby is hungry! Baba: - Actually, I'm his aunt, but ... I'm still glad that I came ...!!
Two mothers are talking: - My daughter has a very good position, she comes to the office at ten in the morning, the boss dictates to her for an hour. She then types a few letters and is free by lunchtime. And earns 50,000 a month. - My daughter is also confused, but she does not allow anyone to dictate to herself!
The wife says to her husband:
- Remember the film "Seventeen Moments of Spring". Stirlitz has not seen his wife for 16 years! He kept her faithful for 16 years!
- That's what she thought...
- He couldn't deceive her!
- The whole Third Reich could, but her, damn it, could not!? ..
- Hello, is this a women's consultation?
- Yes
- Is the brake pedal on the right or on the left?
-----------------
- I ask the hand of your daughter!
- You don't have your own hand?
- Mine is already tired.
The dumbest thing I did was to insert a plug from the power supply of the video card into the power supply of the processor. The smoke came from the BP. The first time I assembled a PC myself and the last. Thank God only the power supply died.