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Serious_100 08.12.19 05:03 am

Funny stories

In General I suggest to write here the story of the very stupid thing you did as a bunch,stoned,both(underline)
So I remember when swells bought champagne and I thought that it would run quickly up the stairs into parade to run...well, you perdstavlyaet this picture, the crowd buhih runs up the stairs screaming and champagne over my head:)))) in General it should be seen:)
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Hichip 08.12.19

And as soon as it happens?)))

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I_IgroK 08.12.19

Laugh heartily.

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.Beauty. 08.12.19

One guy was forbidden to appear in the supermarket because it:
June 15: Took 24 package of condoms and put them in a basket of other buyers until they saw.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in the Department of home goods so that they called 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice leading to the bathroom.
July 19: walked Up to the store staff and official tone said to her: Code three in the Department of the goods for the house. Watched for a reaction.
August 4: Asked the administrator to issue a purchase package M&M in installments.
September 14: Moved a warning sign Caution. Wet floor in room carpeted.
September 15: the Department of tourism goods put up a tent and invite other customers to come to him if they'll bring pillows.
23 September: In response to employees ' suggestions to help in the selection of goods began to cry and scream , why don't you just leave me alone.
October 4: Looked into the security camera, pretending that looks in the mirror and picking his nose.
10 Nov: the Department of firearms asked the seller where you can buy antidepressants.
3 December: ran around the store suspiciously loudly humming musicalnote from the movie Mission impossible.
6 Dec: the Department of auto parts depicted the Madonna, using different size funnels.
18 Dec: Hid in the effluent with clothes and scared buyers shouting pick me, Pick me.
December 21: When an announcement on the loudspeaker in the store room, took a fetal position and screamed Oh no. Again those voices!
December 23: Locked in the fitting room and after some time shouting loudly: there is no toilet paper!

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.Beauty. 08.12.19

This funny story(which the ending is more epic than mass effect ) told a good friend of mine from Ulyanovsk (Yes, in our area of the city). They decided with friends (15 - 20) in the campaign to go. Good camping, with tents, overnight stay and other amenities tourism – that is, for a long time.

As the rest must be cultural and the right kind of "fuel" took a lot of, but about food somehow forgot...

Had one buckwheat Yes, some sandwiches. Meanwhile, the group had departed far from the city. In the evening reached some backwater village. Selhozprodukti was closed a long time ago, no food! Okay, fuck this'khozprom, found some guy and bought him a three-liter jar of MUSTARD and 10 pounds cyanotic, pozaproshlogodnie sausages made from rotten, sour hedgehogs...

Dark. Moving away from the dreary village at 7 kilometers, the tourists decided to set up camp. The aim of the campaign is achieved! You have to wash. Washed repeated wash several times...

After the seventh "washing the Parking lot" no one is going to light it again couldn't, not to mention tents. And then, unfortunately, ended Zakus brought sandwiches.

No bonfire (dark already, even wood have nowhere to look for) – buckwheat does not cook. Suddenly someone remembered the hot dogs with mustard...

A jar of mustard dumped directly into the grass and began to dunk the sausages, Yes to eat! It was three o'clock in the night.

Morning. Repin's painting oil: a puke in the surrounding bushes, some wildly laughing, and someone is sitting in full prostration...

And exactly in the center of the clearing is NO one's TOUCHED a lot of mustard, which flaunts a cow turd. All small holes from the sausages...

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Brashnashla 08.12.19

I cried, or break the pattern!

In my eyes, in the bus at a typical emo tried to press the horn. Emo and cried, NOT STOPPING to CRY, charged badlogin from foot to the groin, and then sobbing almost scratched my eyes, then screams FIRE! jumped out of the bus and ran away. Yes, it looked silly, three times is not manly (type unspecified kid). BUT! Of he has achieved his goal - Mobil preserved and not Opiza*julissa.

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xabote 08.12.19

Black morcom
Scary story, but basically on the subject (didn't happen to me), occurred in one (name silent) factory on the night shift:
One young guy asked to replace a man in the night shift, the guy family has not yet been agreed. The change was even 3-4 person (fitters,mechanics,machinists), gathered drank, went to do the bypass. Out of order pipeline,our hero climbed to fix (at this point), suddenly the conveyor turns on,the guy polruki gone. Panic, nobody knows what to do,learn and get fired because hell find a job. Someone had the idea, took the guy's hand, went to a nearby railway road, put his hand between the rails, the guy next decided an accident to portray...Then, as an evil, not a train:)) What to do???!The guy is getting worse and worse, decided to go to a nearby station, there to try happiness. All huddled in the car, the guy in the middle, his hand in the bag and go. They managed to get only to the first accident. There, as usual, right, the whole rigmarole. The COP looks in the car, looking in the back seat, asks what's in the package?...answer is well...the hand. Raked all morning, all fired, and most of the family, but...a Strange happiness, a guy that as it turned out in this story? Agreed to replace. He was considered the victim, made the latest denture (for some European high-tech technologies), paid moral compensation (fabulous price) and also pay something like retirement...in General, in some sense, the guy is secured to the end of their days...

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KostaR_Max 08.12.19

That's how I remember how I shkolotoy being here on the forums did...
Kick-ass was full xD

And so, in kind more nothing is remembered

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Olchik1 08.12.19

never get drunk to the uncontrolled state))

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TambWolf 08.12.19

I like something in the forest decided to take a walk,take a walk...alone.Head ached terribly, well, by a strange logic, I ran.Running, running,stop.Boring.Take off the shoes, again she ran and started yelling.I screamed all that in mind,the Russian national anthem,some Soviet slogans. Went through the entire repertoire of Verka Serduchka,Baskov,Leps,went to Leningrad.So through the woods and ran until it got dark.How home made it is a mystery.

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Ugryumyy kot 08.12.19

.Beauty.
As the last scum were laughing xD

K
KPUTOY GUF 08.12.19

Story you can come up with something to Supplement
Example:
I yayka shone in Crysis and found the website and made fat (1 photo) then I went to (Vkontakte) and I found this comic about a fat (photo 2).Then I Evolu 3D went to DIN with kamazom but we had an accident, Gamesa killed and I broke a block and I fell, but luckily I was under water and I fell into the water.Swam I was swimming and saw Sasha Fokin, he shouted for the whole street, the phrase I will install now all games and I was thrown again to the grease (to lube Andrianova) she said follow me and scampered off into the Bush but I'm on something right now I was again thrown out.This time in Crysis.I saw giant rocks and I followed him.I had to jump to get to a large tower (Approximately 100 meters tall) but that was not all.I jumped,grabbed the rope like Tarzan and went through the maze but someone farted so I was at home with their parents.That's the story
CONTINUED:
As always I again threw in Crysis but right after it fat I had nothing to do with the fact that I was throwing.Then I followed her into the Bush I was walking in the Bush,they were blind and dark and nothing was visible.Suddenly I saw something move in the bushes, I went for a meeting.But it was gone.I ran after her.It turns out that Luba was moving (fat) and I decided to grab it.I tripped,she fell in the pit. But the pit was dark and it scared me that I will lose the lube.Then I quickly managed to grab her hand and told her Stay! then I tried to pull her back, but nothing worked.Then I was exhausted but I was still holding her hand.And then I flashed in my head that I have to save her.And then I was struggling that I had pulled from deep pits the Luba.I stood on her side, we became friends.
To be continued

S
SteamMechanic 08.12.19

Yesterday afternoon walking around the city,it was chilly.Turned to the cemetery (it is along the mountains), Go up the hill,not bothering anyone. Suddenly from the mountain runs a naked man of about 40 with a stick in his hand,and shouted THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAA!. Knocked me down,ran out of the cemetery ,there was a mother with a child,the child put blocks and probably became a stutterer,and mother almost fainted.The man was caught.Now sitting somewhere in the plot.

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_Kirill_ 08.12.19

One winter I was in a hurry and went outside in underwear pants and didn't realize it at the bus stop.

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unicorn290 08.12.19

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PostalDude242 08.12.19

Attention!Please help who than can,I and the ruble is not hurt)Who do not care about money,help them!!!410011907370631 my Yandex money!I would be very grateful!

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timtimH 08.12.19

PostalDude242
You made me laugh. Really stupid prank.

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Mag Otshelnik 08.12.19

A sad anecdote:

Raschke was born.Then a solid farce.

The end of the anecdote.

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cialatudor 08.12.19

Oh the currency you currency
Until then you're good
You look like a bird
Today here and tomorrow there
Maybe you breeds
In our big family
You and you're sister.
Named Fin-Flame.com.

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WarlokIII 08.12.19

My friend told me about the situation with his friends...
So, this individ all night was sincil... naturally dehydrated in the morning... took the bottle, drank three SIPS without looking at its contents... in short in the bottle in the water threw off the bulls during the whole night... actually this individ that day very much lost in the toilet)))

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Dobryy dyadya 08.12.19

One day we came to visit a distant Relative. A distant Relative was one of those men who accompany any phrase meaningful smile, and speaking to children as if before them is very stupid adults.
At the table my brother reached for the sugar, and distant Relative, moved the sugar bowl. Thank you politely said the Bear. He was four years old, and he just mastered the great power of gratitude.
Thank you for bread will not smear, - gravely informed a distant Relative, and in a pocket will not put.
Bear was confused and blinked. A distant Cousin grinned knowingly and continued to drink tea.
In principle, I can easily imagine what went on in the mind of my four year old brother. Especially well it became clear after the fact, when a distant Relative got ready to leave, and in his coat pocket, found a pack of melted butter.
(Dad laughed so hard that a Relative was offended. And more, it seems, did not come to us. And then my mother said with a sigh that could be limited and a quarter of the pack. Max-a-half).