Jokes on Skyrim (The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim)
Funny, did not find similar topics. Write here your stories. Just do not martinich joke dragonborn so severe, that not goes to the toilet as in similar topics on other games.The end of the month, payday.
- So, the plan is executed, VIP customer service, passed the report.
- An honest fee for honest work. An honest fee for honest work. An honest fee for honest work.
I was exasperated by all the expensive travels, but then I took an arrow in the knee...
Married companion, in bed just a beast!
And in Skyrim, didn't know that the Russians have been using the shouts, putting them in the soul. And, of course, all shouts consist of three words; here stumbled for example, and issue a f** your mother!... and it helps!
PS. Not specifically about Skyrim, but you, too, after the announcement of a storm warning waiting for him for the next morning to tell her peacefully sleeping in the chair Khajiit well, you and Sonya, even yesterday's storm didn't Wake you up?
In fact, turning to the guard through an arrow in the knee is not so simple poses ,because
it all depends on the arrows:
The iron-guard of Wandhama
Steel-Solitud
Oracle-Largeur
Dwarven-Market
Elven-Altmeri Embassy ,Raven rock
Daedric-the mythic dawn
The bolt Trell vampires
Falmer-the guard of the Falmer
Ice thorn-winterhold
Ancient Nord-draugr
Boom rogue one of rogue
Ooohhh!!! Oblivion's sake! Such bad timing!.. The dragonborn groaned, holding his stomach and looking around. The toilet was not around... In the sky of Sovngarde Alduin hovered and ancient heroes called dragonborn on the battle. But instead of the glorious touma clear sky, they heard a very different sound. By Sovngarde spread the stench... this epic day, the dragonborn realized that some ingredients have not only alchemy, but also purgative properties...
Not quite in the topic, but here is a drink found in the store. The glory of the Dread Father)
kaban001
Next time if I lazy, I'll just delete posts, not edit them. Not multipost.
An old fanfic, for those who played Dragon Age
Dragonborn in Kirkwall
1) Hit Flemet natochenny "FUS!" and sailed to Kirkwall, alone and without a ship.
2) Landing at casemates, said that he had important news for the Governor, gave the guards a bribe and peacefully passed into the city.
3) the Entire year chasing butterflies, skipping an expedition to Deep Trails.
4) Caught up with Bertrand on the way back, secretly pulled the idol from his pocket, fiddled with and put into place.
5) stood in beautiful poses in the background of ancient taiga.
6) Rushing through the deep paths, I tried to mine ore and accidentally dug up an ancient God.
7) Killed natochenny "FUS-ro!", smeared on the wall.
8) Back in town, rushed to catch the fish.
9) Snuck into the mansion of Mellow, massacred the bandits, all adorned with the surface of the candles scattered on the floor of the watermelon and jewels and long admired.
10) Drove to the mansion Avelino, called his huscarles and told not to go anywhere.
11) Married escaping Isabel, locked the house and told to cook.
12) the mansion never came back.
13) brawling and fighting with the Arishok, enthusiastically scooted around the throne room shouting "arena! Arena!"
14) After the victory said to Meredith that she is now his "Enthusiastic fan", put it in hand bag and sped to chopping wood. The knight commander didn't even find anything to say.
15) the Next three years was engaged in the crafting.
16) the explosion of the Church met the finished skewers.
17) Conflict of Magi-Templar please from all angles.
18) Zagruschu, sailed to Akavir.
Hawk in Skyrim
1) Caught the Dragon by the tail and demanded a ride to the nearest town.
2) upon Arriving in Riverwood, I got stuck there for a week, choosing who of admirers sister dealer to help. Thrice read the diary, nothing decided, and went away disappointed.
3) Lost in the Dwemer ruins.
4) got to Whiterun, only obtrusive year from a nearby farm, to the great joy of its owner.
5) Tried to sell to the merchants, stones, pieces of wood, torn pants, and wondered, why not take.
6) hit on everyone I meet, asking them to tell about their lives. The counter was soon convinced that he Talarski spy.
7) Stumbled on talarski of justiciero, rushed to hug them and to spare, calling the oppressed, and the oppressed mages twice. Escaped the elves hastily ordered his Dark Brotherhood.
8) reaches the unreachable, leaving Cicero in facepalm their attempts at humor.
9) was gleeful about owning a dog.
10) Tried to talk to Farkas, pulling him with gifts. The werewolf huffed and puffed, angry, but continued to drag after the employer, sweet rolls, weapons, books and other gifts. In the end, said that overloaded, threw the Hawk's feet a bag of dragon bones, and, swearing, I stomped back into Jorasco.
11) perform ALL discarded on his quests, therefore was branded as a double agent and is wanted by all possible organizations in Skyrim including Daedric cults.
12) Defeating Alduin, ready to watch the final movie. Not waited, grew old and died.
A little black humor.
Then what a pity! said the girl, looking at the corpse of the master vampire.
The mouths of Babes... thought Dragonborn and finally decided to accept the gift from Lord Harkon.
Skyrim is the land of opportunity. Come in rags and in a month you're a millionaire and a gentleman.
>The dragonborn, taking off the pants:
>- Lydia, look!
>Lydia:
>- The first time I see something like that...
Lydia undresses, bends down and says Domacinu:
- Look, a cave! Want to know what's inside?