Jokes on Skyrim (The Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim)
Funny, did not find similar topics. Write here your stories. Just do not martinich joke dragonborn so severe, that not goes to the toilet as in similar topics on other games.The end of the month, payday.
- So, the plan is executed, VIP customer service, passed the report.
- An honest fee for honest work. An honest fee for honest work. An honest fee for honest work.
I was exasperated by all the expensive travels, but then I took an arrow in the knee...
Married companion, in bed just a beast!
And in Skyrim, didn't know that the Russians have been using the shouts, putting them in the soul. And, of course, all shouts consist of three words; here stumbled for example, and issue a f** your mother!... and it helps!
PS. Not specifically about Skyrim, but you, too, after the announcement of a storm warning waiting for him for the next morning to tell her peacefully sleeping in the chair Khajiit well, you and Sonya, even yesterday's storm didn't Wake you up?
white_wolf45
About being shot in the knee: the expression comes from the Vikings. This expression meant that Viking married. so nothing strange that almost every second guard with shot through the knee.
Are Cyrodiil's Savior and Dragonborn across the expanses of Tamriel. Suddenly past them something whirlwind.
- What is it? - asks the Dragonborn.
Is The Elusive M'IKE Is A Liar. - responsible Cyrodiil's Savior
Why is he elusive?
Because he can not catch one.
- Why is it no one can catch?
- But who needs that?
. Dragonborn, taking off the pants:
- Lydia, look!
Lydia:
- The first time I see something like that...
We're marching with a smile through life!-chadidscha the motto of the society of consumers scumy
Somewhere in the icy mountains, where howling blizzards, and where not taken away even a mountain sheep... I ran up to someone the Fugitive, was asked to take possession of his boots (enchanted, besides!) and ran on barefoot:)
. There is a Breton along the lake Honrich, carrying a box of strong Mead, and he SIPS.
To meet him Proud Altmer.
Al - Hey, you Raznotravie mortal being, what are you talking about?
Breton - Mead, steward the Earl.
Altmer - And do not deign to treat you to my praseolite greatness?
Breton - I'll buy you a drink, but on one condition...
Al - Want to play? Well, let's try.
The Breton is considered high intellect thoroughbred Altmer and started to asked questions...
Breton - okay, first question. Many years ago there was the oblivion crisis?
Al was hubris, you know, and confidently said - two Hundred years ago...
Breton did not want to lose and asked for more difficult in his opinion.
Who started the civil war?
Al - began Ulfric, Tullius finished.
Breton came up with a question to which no answer...
-Who stole my sweet roll?
Altmer - Scientists still do not know...
A Breton with grief gave a bottle of Mead Altmer.
Al goes on his way and to meet him is Farkas.
Farkas - Hey, you and Nuka let the Mead!
Al - give myself...
Farkas - Who?!
Al - that one is a Breton. Ask him, but he's the bastard going to ask you three questions and if you answer correctly only in that case you will get Mead.
Farkas - how hard it is. Hey, why don't you just tell me the answers and I will no longer be considered slow-witted.
Al - Okay.
1.The answer two hundred years ago.
2.Tell Ulfric started, Tullius finished.
3.I don't know. Lie or tell something that scientists still do not know.
Farkas - Well, bless me Talos merciful.
Al looked askance and walked away with a grin.
Breton walking on the road met a man of the world who offered to drink but Breton refused but took along a bottle of honey-Honing (which he disliked).
And he saw before him the Farkas and asks:
Breton - Hey Farkas, don't want to...
Farkas And I know. know. Let your questions.
Breton - I just-can give...
Farkas - no,no I'll be fine. Come on.
The Breton knew that Farkas wisely not a bottle he didn't care...and decided.
Farkas, when you were born?
Well, two hundred years ago.
Breton asks with surprise.
Breton-Ktozh gave birth to you?
Farkas -Nuuu.. that...what was it...started Ulfric, Tullius finished.
-O_o Farkas you che stupid?
-Well... that's... scientists still do not know.
And here tipo HAA ha ha HA HAAA HA..... well, you understand.
Who will put a minus - Talmore High Elf
Who will supply the Nord Dragonborn...
They exist!
(the magic damage, increase skill light armor, regenerate health, invisibility)
( Actias luna - Latin, scientific name)
A survey of players showed that the worst monster in the game - chicken. For the Emperor - a fine of 1500 septims, for an angry chicken death on the spot.
Comes in it says to the players:
- Shit your Skyrim! I'm two hours all cut Alduin bent - over,behind the door sits on the Bug comments.