Jokes, damn it, fifth series!
Is little johnny down the hall with a globe, meets his teacher and asks:- Vovochka, where are you going?
- In the toilet!
- Why do you want Globus?????
- Well, you know, the mood, the world we@host wants!!!!!
In short there is a hedgehog, is himself - no one touches. There was a machine gun. Took, goes further - meets wolf.
Tuff-tuff (shoots machine gun), I Nasr*, tuff-tuff, you will eat, tuff-tuff, and if not, tuff-tuff, the Khan to you.
Well, wolf, not long thinking, ate shit a hedgehog, and the hedgehog went on. Meets a Fox.
Tuff-tuff (shoots machine gun), I Nasr*, tuff-tuff, you will eat, tuff-tuff, and if not, tuff-tuff, the Khan to you.
Fox peresr*Las, ate their feces and hedgehog. The hedgehog went ahead and meets a bear.
Tuff-tuff (shoots machine gun), I Nasr*, tuff-tuff, you will eat, tuff-tuff, and if not, chop, chop... I'll eat it.
– Someone stole lint from my belly button! I'm calling the police!
– You're a drug addict or something?
Why?
– You live in what country?! The police do not care!
Wife tries on new jeans and asks her husband:
- How does it look?!
He told her:
- To tell you the truth?!
Yes.
-I slept with your sister!
Okay, push it in here and I have a few anecdotes...
Lieutenant Rzhevsky wakes up in a brothel, getting dressed, going to leave.
- Lieutenant! And the money? – shouted the lady.
- Hussars do not take money! – proudly replied the Lieutenant.
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Birthday Natasha Rostova. Natasha was invited to the festival of Lieutenant Rzhevsky and all hussars regiment. The Lieutenant oversees the moral character of the hussars – that something blurted out. At the table, Natasha tries to make small talk:
You know, I got 17 candles for a birthday cake, and it got only 16. Don't know where to put another one?...
From the table gets up to the Lieutenant Rzhev and yells:
- HUSSARS, BE SILENT!
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- Nick, why'd you steal mielofon?
— You see, Alice, I thought...
— Were you thinking? You losers unlucky? Do you think though about something I think? Oh, by the way, now I turn on the device and hear what you think! Oh... What about? Oh... And that's it? And this way too??? Well, Since I don't know... Let's at least first, go to the movies....
- Mom, I'll never eat mushrooms!
- Why, son?
- Yesterday I promised them!
- Why do you swear?
Because consecutive change of conditions and replicas of some individuals to oppress my mind.
What?
- Go to*UY!
FSB exceeded the plan for the introduction of investigators in the gang. At the moment there are 15 groups consisting entirely of FSB operatives.
There is a mineral water called I.
Went to the store, saying:
Hello, let poltorahu I
And a half what?!
Manufacturer of noodles "Doshirak" nominated for the Nobel prize in chemistry: the composition of the noodles discovered chemical elements, not previously known to science.
Question to police:
- My daughter is 9 years old. Her height is 1 m 50 cm, and it is already rising with her grandmother.
Whether grandma car seat to buy?
>>>>>>>>>>
If military schools are taught the word of command, in medical school -
therapeutic handwriting.
>>>>>>>>>>
Briefly about the weather. Today broke down yesterday and washed the t-shirt.
(Anecdote on the subject of Anton Ural, who knows this guy, Lurkmore to help)
- Oh, the cold...
- I understand you!
No, you don't!!! You don't understand anything and sit tight!!!
Spoiler
You can also neighing =)
PS Sorry for multiposting, there is simply no evading, and jokes I have a lot... :)
- I'll be a good husband and will never change... Just balls release!
- You know what feelings I had after graduation? Master gave Dobby a sock! Dobby is free!
- Why do you shut me out? I hear you're lonely, you groan inside.
- Blah, Petrovich, step away from the door, let me shit in peace!
- Well, son, again, wandered all night, drank, smoked, fucked?
- Dad, the envy, bad feeling
- Irina was not drinking, not Smoking girl. Wandered at night. Laid down at 22.00 and get up at 6-00. It was a quiet and even docile.
But when I got out of jail, everything changed...
The girl came to the party dressed as squirrels, and... scared the shit out of the guard of the kindergarten.