3 New Notifications

New Badge Earned
Get 1K upvotes on your post
Life choices of my cat
Earned 210

Drag Images here or Browse from your computer.

Trending Posts
Sorted by Newest First
s
stalker7162534 24.09.19 12:46 pm

Jokes, damn it, fifth series!

Is little johnny down the hall with a globe, meets his teacher and asks:
- Vovochka, where are you going?
- In the toilet!
- Why do you want Globus?????
- Well, you know, the mood, the world we@host wants!!!!!
173 Comments
Sort by:
s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

The mistress – guests:
– Help yourself, feel free.
And suddenly a little girl gives:
– Mom, you're wrong. I must say, as we do in kindergarten: the Home you eat what you want, but here – eat what you give.

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

Pamela Anderson told in a particular program:
- At home I look like a normal person, and the children always saw me for a normal, no hair and makeup. And somehow, somewhere, to paint... and go to the children.
Junior looked at me intently and with horror:
- Wait a second, are you Pamela Anderson????

T
Traun 24.09.19

stalker7162534 - handsome! 2012 the poison jokes!

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

Traun
Drinking, Smoking and talking (jokes) I started at the same time.

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

The entry in the diary: "Your son today, again, fighting at recess. I bet on him and won the 500 rubles. Thank you."

W
Wing42 24.09.19

1. The administration of the zoo decided to reduce staff. Long thought, what kind of wording to write in the result of which was that the elephant was decided to shorten the marking time, the donkey for a fool, a giraffe for the superficiality and cock for debauchery.
Animals submitted to the administration to court and won the case. The elephant was restored for an unflappable nature, donkey for firmness of belief, a giraffe for the broad-minded and cock for a close relationship with the masses.

2. Are the American and the Russian in front of the gates of Heaven. The gates are locked on the new arrivals looks sternly the Apostle Peter.So-and-so, you were bad people, but the gates of Heaven are closed for you, there is only the road to Hell, and here I am, so be it, I will give you freedom of choice: in the American Hell you have to eat two buckets go on, and a Russian Hell - three. But let each of them I can only one of you.
The American quickly figured that three is more than two and a fanatical patriotism in the eyes chose the American Hell. Russian shrugged his shoulders and, in the absence of alternatives, went to Russian Hell.
Six months passed and one day meet an American and Russian somewhere on neutral territory.
- Well, the American, how's it going in Hell?
- Consistently, as in the United States: a bucket of bleep in the morning, the bucket curl on the evening - and on the side. What's yours?
- And I have all as in Russia: the bleep will not be delivered, buckets are not enough at all.

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

- Fima, why do you think Clara Zetkin and Rosa Luxemburg came up with this holiday on March 8?
Still I think they sho the flower tent was!

Spoilers every joke there is some joke.
Always pomnite wisdom, which was formulated in Ancient Rome - who benefits, Who is to blame.
So in any situation where you did not say, consider - who benefits from it, for whose benefit you want to convince.

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

In the store the man asks the seller:
- Do you have a swimming cap?
- No.
- A stick for hockey?
- No.
- Well, and skis there?
- No! And generally it is wine-vodka shop...
- Well, then give a bottle of vodka, and quietly to myself - God knows that I wanted to play sports...

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

Went to the supermarket, bought some gum Orbit. At the checkout:
— You need a bag?
Three let's go! Suddenly, one breaks.

g
grigo33 24.09.19

Stand between heaven and hell American, Indian and Russian. Hell on pass says: Well guys, I'm in a good mood today. Who can endure 3 hits of my whip ,that once in Paradise forest. Unable to defend what you want. American, you go first. Than to defend you?
American: Stone.
1st shot - the stone is broken, 2nd hit - American broke down and went to hell.
Indian, it's your turn. Than to defend you?
The Hindu: I am a yogi. I won't hurt anything. Nothing will defend.
1st strike - the Hindu: Ooom!, 2nd - Ohms!, 3rd - Ohms.
Damn it: Well, all Indian, you survived, go to heaven.
The Hindu: No, I'll stay, see how the Russian gets out of this, and all the jokes he gets out.
Damn it: okay, look. Russian than to defend you?
Russian: How it?! Hindu of course!

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

Sweet pepper will help to know mother your child.

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

- Than like a typical American and a typical Russian?
Both thinking all the time about US and never remember about Russian problems.

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

Abstract: what would the titles of the stories, if these stories were published in the tabloids.

Victims of predator–eater were two more persons! The remains of a child and an elderly woman was found in a village house!

Birds kidnapped the child unattended!

Grown old turnip farmer got into the Guinness book of records!

Henpecked drove his own daughter in the cold!

Feeble-minded inhabitants of the village home was destroyed to make furnace vehicle!

Crazy fish brought pensioners into poverty!

Child-a mutant forced to live underground!

Water in puddles poisoned by chemicals! The boy was an idiot, and became a beast!

The daughter of an oligarch lost honor in the pigsty!

Cyborg left the Swedish family without the sweet!

The famous showman got robbed of a block of wood!

In connection with the construction of the cottage village country house of the pensioner turned in the opposite direction from the beautiful forest!

Demobilization tricked the pensioner to give the last products! The scammer used a melee weapon!

Plastic surgery - an accomplice of kidnapping, seven children went missing!

Maniacs pensioners hunted animals bread with LSD!

Several of the miners during the month was held captive a young girl!

Girl addict gets a Bunny!

Homeless animals share emergency housing!

The employee killed the priest click on his forehead!

The girl used the petals of the plant how much mind-bending stuff!

The animated device for cracking nuts vs rat mutant! Don't miss out!

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

xxx: On TV again Harry Potter. Finally realized who I they resemble. The adventures of Petrov and Vasechkina, EPT. All the same, two idiot and the girl-a student

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

Police detained a group of priests who broke into a rock concert of the Cord and performed a prayer, than hurt the feelings of punks all over Russia.

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

- Go to the café?
I can't, I'm on a diet.
- What kind of diet?
Financial.

m
machida 24.09.19

The fight against corruption in Russia is reminiscent of fishing for channel Hunting and fishing: caught, revealed, released. anekdotov.net

m
machida 24.09.19

stalker7162534 wrote:
Go to the café?
I can't, I'm on a diet.
- What kind of diet?
Financial.
for this reason I got an idea
these people are not no money)
they just for some reason don't want to go,so why not this?
strange people!

m
machida 24.09.19

Kamasutra is a guide for men, showing that no matter how a woman is not spun and not twisted to shove you can always

s
stalker7162534 24.09.19

Judging by the broadcasts of Russian television, September 18, the Russians will have to make an important choice: Clinton or trump.

Infa for Russian teachers: average teacher's salary in Switzerland is $ 9,000 because they do not fabricate the election in favor of the lumberjacks as you.