Jokes, damn it, fifth series!
Is little johnny down the hall with a globe, meets his teacher and asks:- Vovochka, where are you going?
- In the toilet!
- Why do you want Globus?????
- Well, you know, the mood, the world we@host wants!!!!!
-Darling I'm crazy about you!
-what are you crazy this is clear but I do with it?
The women's team is the most violent in the world the team especially if you're a man. ( The only male in the team)
And in my opinion there is the task wakes up 20 patients for 5 days bit of a doctor that got 100 bites and 2 days of each other.
The most unpleasant moments in my life a person experiences through their negligence.For example,the lack of toilet paper,he notices not when it comes,and when going out.
The man stopped the traffic police for speeding, the guy says:
- Guys, excuse me for God's sake, hurry home, the neighbor called and said that my wife Luban, lover led (of course you didn't, just walked away), immediately released, even the documents are not checked:
- Go faster bro, ima get it!!... A week later, a similar situation occurred with his wife Any - stopped for speeding... Clever woman immediately remembered the stories of her husband, says to the cops:
- Release for God's sake, hurry home, the neighbor called, said that my husband was home mistress led!!!
So these bastards and documents checked, and insured and toning measured, and a fire extinguisher give them, and a complete inspection of the car from witnesses, 3 hours Protocol on the penalty filled!!!!.... fucking male solidarity!
The dialogue in the supermarket between the seller and the buyer. The buyer is a little tipsy with a bottle of beer.
- Young man, You turned 18? - alert the cashier.
- Yes, I received confused replies the buyer, by the way today birthday, - he continues, smiling.
Really? You turned 18? - smiled the cashier.
- 27 - answers, frowning a little, buyer.
Some people for their deeds go to heaven or hell or purgatory.
But Hitler still went to heaven because there waited.
(Jews, and other peoples whom he hurt)
The commander asked the soldiers. The main thing in the tank? one it: crawlers, No: responsible commander. Other: armor. No: says the commander, third gun. You all answered correctly. The main thing in the tank not to be chicken.
Best friend is the one who can to support you, and those with whom you can neighing.
Came the glasses to the hospital and barely saw the nurse says: does the eye doctor and the nurse in charge: What it takes, thumps terrible.
At a computer show COMDEX, bill gates said that if General Motors developed like Microsoft, we would have all been ridden a car with a value of $25 and a fuel consumption of 0.005 l/100 km.
A day later, the GM representative said in response that if GM matched the trends of Microsoft, then:
1. For no reason at all, the average car would get in an accident, 2 times a day.
2. Every time I would change the markings on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Sometimes the car would just stop in the middle of the highway. To go further, it would be necessary to attrcat the car to the curb, close all WINDOWS,
stop the engine, open all the WINDOWS and then go.
4. Performing a difficult maneuver, the car may stall and refuse to restart. Then you have to preinstalovat engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that would use the sun's energy, would be five times faster than a car from Microsoft, twice as easier to control - but could go only for 5% of the roads.
6. Sensors engine temperature, battery, oil pressure to be replaced by a single: This Car has performed an illegal operation and now will stall.
7. Before activated airbag, the message will appear: Are you sure?
8. Sometimes the car will close the door and you will not be able to get
inside. Then press the handle of the door, insert the key and click on the radio antenna system rasplachivaetsya.
9. Every time buying a new car, will have to learn to ride again - manage each new car will be radically different from the old.
10. To drown out the motor, you press the button START.
They say gates was offended...
Saw the wife on the shelf shampoo, the label says: "LENGTH AND STRENGTH". Of course, it's unlikely, but just in case, washed twice.
Parachutists jumping in Africa without weapons, local tribes called humanitarian aid.
At that time, as all the other passengers of the delayed flight was too shy to tell the truth about Aeroflot, Leonid Arkadyevich Yakubovich did not hesitate and called the whole word.
A drunk air passenger has almost calmed down and stopped singing the song loudly in the cabin, but then he was approached by a stewardess named Jeanne...
The airplane is flying. The pilot on the loudspeaker:
- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the captain. Listen to the info about our flight. We are flying at an altitude of 10 thousand meters at a speed of 900 kilometers per hour, the outside temperature... *then yelling obscenities good, the plane at this time throws from one side to the other, on Board panic*
In a minute again on the radio:
- I apologize to the esteemed passengers. This is just our stewardess knocked me hot coffee. Did you now my white pants in the front...
The man in the first row:
Urred! You should see my pants from behind...
got Russian and the American to the light,determined them to hell,well, ask someone in a will,is the American and Russian there is a hell,the Yankees I am a patriot go to American,Russian so what to do then I'll go to Russian hell.
after a month of Dating what Russian asked the Yankees as there is in the American hell,the well as in America , setting the stage for the room and from the top with buckets of shit all day watering.
do you like Russian Yes, the same but in Russia,buckets are not enough,that shit is not delivered.
