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stalker7162534 24.09.19 12:46 pm

Jokes, damn it, fifth series!

Is little johnny down the hall with a globe, meets his teacher and asks:
- Vovochka, where are you going?
- In the toilet!
- Why do you want Globus?????
- Well, you know, the mood, the world we@host wants!!!!!
173 Comments
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i
ihhut 24.09.19

- You represent, yesterday I bought a car in exchange for my rattling dilapidated piano!
And what's crazy agreed to this exchange?
- My neighbor behind the wall.

i
ihhut 24.09.19

Stirlitz was walking down the street new year's evening in Hanoi. Suddenly meet
it was left by the dragon.
- Fortunately, - has thought Shtirliz.
- For dinner, thought the dragon.

Z
Z126 24.09.19

Thanks to video games I understand that when you meet enemies, it means moving in the right direction.

Once a homeless person asked:
— What is every day to eat garbage?
To which he replied:
— I don't know, I don't eat at McDonald's.

— When I drink coffee at night, then can't sleep.
And I have the opposite problem: when I sleep, I can't drink coffee.

— Sarah, Lev, where are you going with buckets?
— The river water.
— Sho, the water turned off?
— No. Counters installed.

Creek Russian tourists at the airport of Washington Alla, I'm bar! forced to wet pants 1,300 Americans, including 19 police officers.

Bought the Christmas tree on December 31. Can I, in accordance with the law on consumer Protection in the period until 13 January to return the tree as not coming up?

V
Viratama 24.09.19

- You that such sad?
- Yes here, I think, is it good if I change my boyfriend ...
- What are you talking about!? We're with you all day together.
- No, not you...

V
Vaipen 16.02.21

Khan goes with a horde and 3 heroes to meet him. Khan thinks like that, that's all, these shaitan batyrs will now lay half of my horde until we crush them. Che do that?
And he came up with. Testament of the Heroes.
- Eh, heroes. Let's measure the instruments. If my horde has more then we will let you in a circle, and if you have more then we will peacefully disperse.
Measured by the horde. Well 5 meters plucked.
Here Alyosha Popovich reaches 3 meters every time.
Dobrynya Nikitich once more 2.5 meters
Ilya Muromets gets pff 6 cm.
Well, what to do, an agreement is an agreement. Dispersed in peace.
Here Ilya says. Yes, if I got up, then you would not be needed at all.
Dobrynya. This is what if I got up, then 2 hordes would be enough.
Alyosha. Yes, if mine had not got up, now they would have spiked with the whole horde.

V
Vaipen 16.02.21

Guests at the birthday party make toasts:
One got up and said a beautiful toast about the eagle. The second guest got up and said a toast to the falcon.
The third guest got up and said a toast about the lion.
Finally it was the turn of the last guest.
And he gets up like that and thinks, damn what to do, all the animals are over. And then he just gave out "so that you die ...". And the whole audience is saying EEE at him, what the hell. And the guest is like "... after the whole zoo."

F
Follower 16.02.21

the ducks flew away
to warm lands
and one was left
as fat as me

V
Vaipen 16.02.21

-Why vacation in Crimea is more expensive than in Turkey?
-Because when you go to Turkey, you pay for your stay in Turkey. And when you go to Crimea, you pay for the accommodation of the Turkish staff in the Crimean hotel. Kek ha.

V
Vaipen 16.02.21

In the near future.
The Japanese
man approaches the car - Sakura, start the car.
The car showed up.
The American approaches the car.
-Siri, start the car.
The car started up.
The Russian approaches the car.
-Alice, start the car.
Does not start.
Again, Alice, start the car.
Does not start.
-Alice, tram, taram, your mother start this piece of metalalom.
Started up.

I
Inixa 22.03.21

At school, at a geography lesson:
- Children, is China far from us? the teacher asks.
- Not far! - Little Johnny answers.
- Why do you think so?
- And our neighbor is often visited by a Chinese, so he comes to her on a bicycle.

V
Vaipen 03.04.22

Based on real events.
For a wedding, relatives gave a washing machine and a dishwasher to one Akskal.
A year later, they come to see how the newlyweds live. They look and the gifts are still unpacked. They ask him, they say, why didn’t he unpack, didn’t connect. It's so convenient, one does the laundry, the other washes the dishes. And the aksakal answers, so I thought so, but I got married to the fig then.

b
bara20bashka 24.05.22

babushka and barabashka are typical Russian words that are often used as unique Russian words.
barabashka is a character of modern folklore of the post-Soviet space, an analogue of a poltergeist, an invisible creature that lives in city houses and causes noise.
babushka is quite material and familiar to everyone. But it is also a song from British singer-songwriter Kate Bush's album Never for Ever (1980). Released as a single on July 5, 1980.
Forum playground.ru Don't forget about babushka and don't believe in barabashka!!!

G
GuyFawkes_1570 20.01.23

Let's talk about beauty! Do you have worms here?
- No...
- Well, that's great!